Unconditional Love

“All I want is a healthy baby.”


How often do we get this answer when we ask a mother if she wants a boy or girl?
This is another one of those societal norms that “everyone” just says without really thinking about it. Of course you want a healthy baby. Who would not want a healthy baby? No mother in her right mind wants their child to be born “imperfect”.


PERFECT. This is certainly a word I’ve uttered after my children were born. She is perfect. He is perfect. As I sit here and think about it--really think about it --they are perfect. Not just because they are my children and all mother’s think their own children are perfect but, my children are perfect for the same reason your children are perfect, God created them. Each and every single child, God created. And He doesn’t mess up!


Did you know that 92% of women that find out their pregnant with a child that has down syndrome abort that child? 92%!!!!!

 Bioethicist Luke Gormally argues “ In part, these pressures are the natural temptation to avoid the burdens of care for the handicapped….In part, however they are the pressure of cultural attitudes assimilated by many Christians, toward the child.”


He continues, “ For many it has become merely quaint to think of each child as a unique gift of God; children are more like planned acquisitions in our culture, acquisitions which should fit into our expectations about how our lives should go, about the ease and enjoyments that should characterize our lifestyle. A child who might threaten our ease may, if he or she is viewed as an acquisition, be thought of as a replaceable acquisition. And indeed genetic counselors will tell parents: You can terminate this pregnancy and try again for a ‘normal child’.


Just thinking about a child as an “acquisition” makes my stomach turn. However, Gormally is exactly right. Children in today’s society are thought of in just such a way. The common “ all I want is a healthy baby” phrase is so far from how we should think. Does it matter if your baby is healthy or not? Of course you want a healthy baby, that doesn’t need to be said. What needs to be said is “ I will love this child unconditionally no matter what.”


As Christians it is imperative that our thinking shifts. Our children are not acquisitions that should fit perfectly into our lifestyle. Children are blessings from God, they must be safeguarded and nurtured in the embrace of unconditional parental acceptance.

Don't forget to count all those little blessings!! :)

It's Almost Here...

I’ve been so busy trying to get things ready for Christmas and traveling that I haven’t been good about getting blog posts up. I’ll try to do my best in the next couple weeks, but I might not get very many up.


Today I was thinking about a 7 day to do list for Christmas. Once I started thinking about it I realized that today is almost over, and Christmas is on day 7, so I have re-visited my idea. Instead of a to do list of 7 items I wanted to give you 3 questions to think about between now and Christmas. Sometimes I think the best way to prepare for something is to simply ask yourself questions and critically think about the answers.


1. What have you done this Christmas season to make yourself better?


2. How have you prepared yourself for Christ’s birth?


3. Have you taken time to do something truly child-like this Christmas season?

　
You have a few days to improve your answers. So if you answer one of the questions with a no or an answer that isn’t satisfactory take some time to change it between now and Christmas.


Don’t forget to count your blessings!! J

Can We Change Society??

“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”
― Mother Teresa

Today a friend and I were talking about the society that we live in. We were discussing how different it seems than when we were younger. We talked about how hard it is to raise children with the screwed up morals in today’s world. We expressed concerns for different people in our lives.


The more we talked the more I thought about this huge task of raising my children to be wonderful and loving adults who contribute to society in a positive way. Wow! Just sit and think about that for a second. My job as a mother is to raise my kids to be wonderful, loving, contributing members of this society. That can be a very daunting thing to think about.


Anyone out there have any secrets??


My grandfather, Frank, is a very wise man. I have been thinking about him a lot lately. He suffered a stroke about a month ago and has been fighting his way through recovery. There are two things that my grandfather told my parents that always seem to stick out to me when I think about raising my children.

1) Do the best you can every single day. That is all you can do.

2) Did you think all your kids would be perfect?

　


For some reason when I think about these comments a calmness comes over me. I realize that even though society might overwhelm me, my job of raising kids to be kind and loving individuals is do-able. I just have to take it one day at a time, and if that is too much I’ll take it one hour at a time. If I am doing my best then I really don’t have anything to worry about. There is no reason for me to stress about the future because I can’t control it, I can only control what I do today.


As I’ve said before, I am my kids greatest and first teacher. The best way for them to learn from me is to set a good example. What an awesome task! Mother Teresa directs us to “be the living expression of God’s kindness”. I want to challenge all of you out there, whether you are a mother or not. Do the best you can every single day. Live so that God can be proud of you every day. Live so that the strangers you meet will see God’s kindness through your words and actions.


We are society. We can’t just talk about how it needs to change. We MUST be the change and live the change. The truth is that not a single one of our children will be perfect, but I sure plan on setting my expectations high enough for them to strive for perfection. What are you going to do so that no one comes to you without leaving better?


Count those little blessings!! J 　

Looking for Inspiration

Today I am looking for inspiration from YOU. Maybe it's because it's gross and rainy here or maybe it's because Wednesdays are always a little wild, but whatever the reason I'm having a hard time coming up with something I really want to write about today.


So I'm taking suggestions, maybe you have a topic that has been discussed a lot in your life lately, maybe you have had something on your mind that you'd like discussed, or maybe you're just curious what I think (haha).


Feel free to e-mail me or post ideas on here. Even if you just have questions you'd like to ask, ask away!


E-mail: Lgraefnitz@gmail.com


Don't forget to count all those little blessings!! :)

Don't Ever Forget...

The third week of advent is always marked by the lighting of the pink candle. Growing up I loved this week of advent the best. I’m not really sure why I loved the third week. Going to mass and seeing the priest wear pink always seemed funny to me, so maybe it was that. Or maybe it was because I knew we were half way to Christmas--the second half of advent always seems to go so much faster. The first two weeks of our advent journey we empty ourselves of the extra and unneeded. The third week of advent we open ourselves up to be filled by Jesus. The pink candle reminds us that even though Advent is a penitential season, joy is all around us. This week is all about showing and feeling love.


In the crazy world out there it can be so easy for us to forget how much God loves us. There are people wrapped in constant pain, there are innocent lives being taken each and every day, there are people suffering with physical and mental illness, and somehow we are supposed to remember that God loves each and every one of us?


I wish I had some unbelievable epiphany to share with you about why all the “bad” things happen in this world. However, I am not a philosopher. I am just trying to figure it all out as I go. I can tell you that through my own sufferings I become closer to God. Through my own sufferings I learn to appreciate my loved ones even more. Through my own sufferings I remember to breath in all the little moments with my kids. The sufferings really do make the good times even better.


The awesome thing about this crazy world we live in is that along with all the pain and suffering is a whole ton of good things. How do I know that God loves me? I look at my children’s smiling faces. I watch my husband wake up day after day, tired or not, and go work his butt off for our family. I watch my grandmother’s hope as the family joins together and rallies after my grandfather’s stroke. I see God working in my life. I see prayers answered before my very eyes. I KNOW God loves me, because he told me by every little blessing in my life.


It’s easy to go through this life as a pessimist and always looking to criticize others. There’s always someone doing it wrong. What if--for this one joyful week of advent we truly loved everyone around us? What if--we thought of others before we thought of ourselves? What if-- this week we lived like Jesus Christ was truly on his way?


Could you imagine??

Why I Run…

I have been thinking about this question a lot in the last week. I equate running to life. I think the two are very similar. When I run I feel like I am solving the world’s problems, or at least I feel like I am solving all the problems that I’m facing that day. Life is a mental game just as running is a mental game. You can go about your day and be miserable and complain and make excuses or you can step up and overcome. You can push through and climb just a little higher then you did the day before, you can run a little harder, a little faster, and a little farther or you can sit at home thinking about how you really should be out there.


So below are some reasons why I run, maybe one will give you some inspiration to get out there and do something. Start by putting one foot in front of the other, it’s amazing where the road can take you.


* I run for myself.I love the way I feel after a good run. Whether I’m doing an interval run, a sprint workout, or a nice long run I feel wonderful when I’m done. I feel like I can do anything. Pushing through a hard run puts me on top of the world. I also know I’m making myself stronger. Plus, I’m a little vain, like the rest of the world, and I love looking good--after a hard run I feel like I am just helping to make myself look a little better.


* I run for my husband.This is the man I’m going to be with for the rest of my life. He’s the only man that I really care about looking good for. There’s a great satisfaction when your husband says you look beautiful and you KNOW that he means it and isn’t just saying it. Running is one of the ways I can look good for him. Plus, thinking about him often helps me run that extra mile, sprint, or interval.


* I run for my kids.I run for Eliza and Jackson and I also run for all my future kids. Being a mom is my job, and I can’t be a good mom if I don’t take care of myself. Running allows me to get all those mom stresses out and allows me to keep my mom body in the best shape it can be in. It’s important for my body to be in peak condition when I am growing a human being, and it’s important for my body to be in shape so I can keep up with the kids I already have.


* I run for others.I love to think about other people while I’m running. I like to dedicate my pain to them. It’s like my way of praying for them while they suffer through a tough time in life. Sometimes it’s the only thing I can do to help. It’s incredible how motivated I can get while thinking about someone I love going through a tough time!


*I run for fun.There’s something about running that brings me back to my younger years. 10 years ago I was in high school playing soccer, playing basketball, running track--no worries. I didn’t know that then, but I know that now. Running helps me reminisce on those days. It helps me stay young. It helps me appreciate where I am today.


* I run to think.There is no time to think about everything and anything then while running. It’s the perfect time to clear my head. I feel revitalized and ready to take on the world after a run.


I hope you have something in your life that gets you feeling alive. There are all sorts of exercises that can get you where you want to be. Have fun and let the road take you where it will.


***As I’ve said before, I don’t think it’s healthy for a person to run every day mile after mile. Chronic cardio has been debunked over and over again. So be smart with how you run, change it up each workout, and don’t overdo it.

In Her Shoes

Can you imagine watching your child die? Can you picture them being tortured and beaten to near death then walking their beaten body along the path to their own death? Can you imagine God telling you that your child must suffer this fate for all of humanity? How would you react? What would you be thinking?


Now imagine that God came to you and told you that you were pregnant with His son. How would you react? What would you tell your husband?


God chose Mary to be the mother of His son. She had such faith in God that she not only accepted the fate of giving birth and raising Jesus Christ, she also watched him die. She was with her son every single step of the way. I’d like to think that if God came to me and told me I was going to give birth to His son I would have enough faith to accept all that came with it, but then to imagine watching that same son die-- I don’t know how Mary did it.


I honestly can’t put into words how important Mary is to me personally. I don’t think I could have gotten through my miscarriage without her. I know that she was with me every step of the way--and she truly understood my pain.


Yesterday we celebrated Mary being conceived without sin. She was the perfect vessel for God’s only son. She was the perfect mother for Jesus. If all mother’s strive to be more like Mary--can you imagine what our children would be like?

An Intimidating Realization

Last night I watched the movie, “The Help”. If you’ve never seen it--I highly recommend watching it. I won’t spoil the ending for anyone, but the movie is set in Jackson, Mississippi in the 1960’s. The whole “separate but equal” movement is at it‘s peak. A young white writer breaks the mold of those white women around her and decides to write a book from the help’s perspective. Her book ends up turning the town upside down. This movie shows courage, compassion, hope, and what can happen if no one stands up for what’s right. It’s one of those movies that you continue to think about long after it’s over.


So of course it got me thinking. Obviously, whites grew up believing that the black maids in their houses were there to serve them. They observed how their parents treated these black workers on a daily basis. When they came of age they got married and started their own household. In Jackson, Mississippi they hired help. Usually the help came in the form of a black maid and if they had a large household and a lot of land to take care of they might have other black workers as well. Then the cycle began again. Their children would observe how the parents treated the workers.


No one seemed to think that the poor treatment of these workers was wrong. The children just did as they had always seen and heard. Honestly, there isn’t any difference in today’s society. We might not have the race clash that they had in the 60’s, but children still grow up watching how their parents behave. Most of the time children grow up to be just like their parents. Occasionally someone breaks the mold, but more times than not the children live their lives in the same manner as their parents.


As a mother of young children this “realization” kind of threw me for a loop. It’s not like I didn’t know it already, but if you stop and think about it your breath can almost be taken away. There is nothing that will say more about me as a person than how my children are raised. Every single day we have encounters with people, and every single day my kids observe how I treat these people whether they are friends or strangers. My kids also get to observe the things I say about those people when they are gone. Above the treatment of others is how I act as a human being. My kids will know better than anyone else the things that matter most to me and the things that I find important in the world. My kids will know what makes me sad and what cheers me up. My kids will witness my break-downs and my perseverance. My kids will see my most evil side and my most loving side.


The thing I am left with after all these realizations is that I sure have a BIG job ahead of me. As a mother I must live as close to how Christ lived as possible, because at the end of the day the salvation of myself, my husband, and my kids is what this is all about. I MUST live my life like Christ so that my children LEARN to be like Christ to everyone around them. Afterall, our actions really do speak much louder than our words. At the end of my life I hope that my children can say, above all else, I taught them how to be Christ-like and how to love.
　
Don’t forget to count your blessings--especially the little ones!! J

Repentance and Forgiveness

I mentioned in an earlier post that we are reading a small advent reflection each night for Advent. Each week has a theme as well. Week 2 of Advent is all about repentance. The readings are all geared for children, but the one we read last night really spoke to me, so I wanted to share it.
　
　
Repentance and forgiveness go hand-in-hand. We say we’re sorry, and we are forgiven. It sounds so easy, but often it’s not. What if the other person doesn’t really forgive us and holds a grudge? What if we are so hurt we have a hard time forgiving? What if we don’t really think we should have to apologize?


Christmas is getting closer. Have we made our peace with those around us? Are we acting in a way that wouldn’t embarrass us if God were to show up in person? Do we treat the people in our lives like the gifts they are?


We can see God in the people around us, from our parents to our siblings to our friends. The most difficult and annoying people are still children of God, and we are to treat them as Jesus would. That means that even if we’ve been hurt by them, we need to forgive them.


We can’t be forgiven if we don’t ask. We have to say we’re sorry--we have to repent. It can seem like a lot of work, but God will help us. We just have to pray for His help.


I think the part that stood out to me the most was the part about loving annoying people. Sometimes the people we love the most can also be the most annoying people to us. Looking at those annoying people as children of God sure makes me take a step back and re-evaluate the situation.


The reason that this week of advent is focused on repentance is because it is something we all need all the time. Take some time this week to go to confession. Remember that we must prepare our souls for the birth of Jesus Christ. If I were to meet God face-to-face today, I would want to make sure that I had asked forgiveness for all the sins I’ve committed. Remember that forgiveness needs to be granted as well as received. Is there someone who you haven’t yet forgiven? Let it go!


Don’t forget to count your blessings--especially the little ones!! J

Christmas Prayer

My sister-in-law, Jen, sent this prayer to me today. I thought it was perfect to share with everyone.

The sleigh was packed

the reindeer were fed,
But Santa still knelt
by the side of the bed.

 

"Dear Father," he prayed
"Be with me tonight.
There's much work to do
and my schedule is tight.

I must jump in my sleigh
and streak through the sky,
Knowing full well
that a reindeer can't fly.

I will visit each household
before the first light,
I'll cover the world
and all in one night.

With sleigh bells a-ringing,
I'll land on each roof,
Amid the soft clatter
of each little hoof.

To get in the house
is the difficult part,
So I'll slide down the chimney
of each little heart.

My sack will hold toys
to grant all their wishes.
The supply will be endless
like the loaves and the fishes.

I will fill all the stockings
and not leave a track.
I'll eat every cookie
that's left for my snack.

I can do all these things Lord,
only through You,
I just need your blessing,
then it's easy to do.

All this is to honor
the birth of the One,
That was sent to redeem us,
Your most Holy Son.

So to all of my friends,
lest Your glory I rob,
Please Lord, remind them,
who gave me this job.

Do You Need God??

Yesterday during the homily our priest discussed the idea that our society doesn’t “need” God anymore. Living in the United States leaves us wanting for very little and our needs are almost nothing. We are lucky to have a solid government, protection of a great military, food on our table, houses to call home, and we are never lacking for entertainment. Most of us are more worried about getting our Christmas shopping done then we are about anything else this time of year. Just because we are blessed enough to live in this country doesn’t mean that we don’t have “need” for God though. In fact, I believe we have just as much “need” for God as anyone else living on Earth.


I’ve been thinking about the homily a lot over the last day or so. I have been racking my brain trying to figure out if I “need” God. Kind of a silly thing to think about, but nonetheless interesting. I tried looking at it the other way, and came up with my answer. If God was taken out of my life, would my life change? (Perhaps this is a question you should ask yourself.) Luckily, my answer was that my life would be entirely different. Not just because my belief in God helps make up my very essence, but because if God was not existent in my life EVERYTHING would be different. There isn’t a decision I’ve made in my life that God wasn’t a part of. However, I know there are days that I go about my day to day routines and think very little about what I’d do if Jesus showed up at my doorstep that very day.


We are supposed to yearn for God. The birth of Jesus Christ changed the world, and it’s still changing the world each and every day. He’s coming to visit us, and we want to be prepared when He arrives. The needs that we have in this country are very different than those of people in 3^rd world countries around the world, but they are needs nonetheless. Yearning for God is something everyone should be doing. Perhaps we need to sacrifice a bit more so that we realize that need. I know Lent is usually the time of year to give things up, but perhaps in preparation for our Lord’s birth we each need to give something up to remind us of our longing for Him.


The time for celebration is not yet here. We’re still getting ready. Amidst the hustle and bustle of the season we must continue the preparations for our souls. Jesus will return. Will you be ready??

Don't forget to count your blessings--especially the little ones!! :)

Fingerprints of an Angel: Sunday Snippet- A Catholic Carnival

This morning I woke up and took a look around at what needed to get done around the house. There seems to be thousands of things I could do all day long, but today I decided to tackle the fingerprints. Any mom understands what I am talking about. Just go to a house where little kids reside and you will see their loving marks all over everything from the walls to the kitchen appliances. As I began scrubbing down the different surfaces my mind began to wander. I try to say prayers for different people as I do house work, and it seemed fitting to pray for my children while I was cleaning their love marks.


It wasn’t too long ago that I wondered if I’d ever have fingerprints to clean up. I suffered a miscarriage on January 3, 2008. I cannot even begin to explain how horrendous it was. It was my first pregnancy so I went from being surprised to be pregnant and super excited to thinking about what the future holds with my new baby to having it all shatter in one simple moment. It was a pretty miserable few months of recovery.


Today as I washed fingerprints away I began thinking about my sweet baby Emily. Eliza calls Emily her guardian angel, and in a way I think Emily is my guardian angel as well. Whenever I begin thinking about all this “work” my kids have made for me it takes just a simple thought about Emily to remind me how blessed I really am. I don’t think I’d be the mother I am today if it wasn’t for Emily.


There’s that old saying “everything happens for a reason”. I got that one A LOT after I lost Emily. I wanted to punch every person that said it to me--even though I know they meant well. I don’t like that saying to this day. There is no reason that a mother should ever lose a child. I think the saying should be “awful things happen to a lot of people, try to learn from those things and make the world a better place from those lessons.”


There are a lot of lessons that I learned from losing Emily, I could write pages and pages about those lessons. Emily continues to teach me to this day. I would love to wash Emily’s fingerprints off of my walls and kitchen appliances. Instead I get her angel fingerprints on my heart and it’s my job to live the lesson of losing her to make this world a better place.


The next time you get angry at your children or upset that they made another mess for you to clean up--stop and count your blessings. They might just have an angel whispering in their ear.


Emily Marie Graefnitz was celebrated each and every day she lived. Help me celebrate her life by giving your kids some extra love today.　

Tis' the Season

I LOVE Christmas! I have always loved Christmas. I was always the kid that would wake all my siblings up way too early on Christmas morning. We’d sneak down to take a peak at all the gifts that Santa brought us without mom and dad knowing. My brothers and sisters and I always had a slumber party on Christmas eve. It was Santa’s way of monitoring us, but we just thought it was for fun and it always seemed to get us even more excited for Christmas morning.


The truth is we still have a slumber party on Christmas eve. There are a few party poopers who don’t participate anymore, but I’m still in that upstairs room waiting with all the little kids for Christmas morning, and yes, it’s usually still me who wakes everyone up way too early in the morning. What can I say, I love traditions!


I’ve always been pretty excited for Christmas, but this year I’m looking forward to it even more because of my kids. Jackson probably won’t have a clue what’s going on, but Eliza is already asking every day if it’s Christmas yet. She screams with pure joy each time we pass a house that has Christmas lights up, even if it’s the same house we pass every night. She shrieks with glee whenever we pass Santa decorations in the store. The crazy thing is, I’m smiling right along-side her. There’s nothing better than seeing the pure joy and happiness that she exudes.


One of Eliza’s favorite things to do is sing. (ie: My Life the Musical) So of course we have been getting in the spirit by listening to and singing Christmas songs. It’s hard for me to pick my favorite, but Eliza continues to sing “Jingle Bells” over and over. There are those couple songs I look forward to hearing each and every Christmas season. Those songs that put a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes no matter how many times I’ve heard them. What’s your favorite Christmas song? I hope you take time to sing it out just like my little Eliza does!


Here are links to two of my favorite Christmas songs: (You might want a tissue) J


Christmas Shoes:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJoz8L3631w&feature=related


Gown Up Christmas List:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfH_rfEe-F0