Guilt

So I had this post that I’ve been working on for a couple days--”12 Things I didn’t Think I’d Be Thankful For in 2012”, but I didn’t have time to finish it last night and I have another topic on my brain today, so just roll with me.

Guilt.

I’ve become very aware that the longer I’m a mom the more things there are to feel guilty about. I think it’s because I want to be the best mom I possibly can be, but maybe I’m just more guilt prone than other moms out there. Whatever the case-- I’m sure I’m not the only one.

But really, what’s with the gobs of things moms should feel guilty about these days?

Let’s take a simple example. Eliza goes to preschool 3 days a week. She is in class for a mere 2 ½ hours each of those days. Yet there is always something that I need to volunteer for or something that I need to help out with. Always. Now the fact that I have 2 other small children at home with me all day doesn’t seem to curve my guilty feeling. She doesn’t even have homework yet! I simply feel guilty for not being able to help during the school day or not being able to come help out at some activity during one of those “fun” days.

Then there’s the clean house guilt. I really try not to care about my house being messy. Really I do. However, if you’re anything like me you have those thoughts in the back of your head-- what happens if someone random just stops by and if I trip over one more toy I might scream. I also hate the thought of my husband coming home to a messy house after a hard day of work. (Even though he probably doesn’t care at all)

How about the I’m still fat from that baby I had x number of months ago guilt. Yeah yeah I know it takes time to get back into shape. That doesn’t stop those thoughts from creeping into my head. Taking a day off from working out is perhaps one of the guiltiest feelings I have. I’m sure other women have the same thoughts. You just have those days when you look in the mirror and think seriously what is all this hard work I’m doing for anyway.

The everyday things are a mile long. Have the kids dressed, and not just dressed but looking cute, get all the housework done, play with the kids, work out, make breakfast, lunch and dinner, make sure the laundry is done, read to the kids, run the errands, feed the baby every 3 hours, play with the kids some more, take care of the yard, pray, catch up with friends, catch up with family, take a couple minutes for yourself, pray, and look good while doing all of it. That’s if it’s a normal day. I think I can count on one hand how many “normal” days I’ve had while I’ve been a mom.

Guilt.

I haven’t even touched on the parenting side of mothering. We’re expected to have our children well disciplined, well fed, well groomed, well rounded, and well educated all while we set a good example of how to live. Heaven forbid they act out in public or in front of our friends or family.

How about the spiritual side of a child? We need to teach them how to pray, how to act with grace, how to behave in church, how to be Christ-like, how to be a good Christian example for the world, how to love, and how to stand up for your beliefs.

More guilt.

I could probably go on for pages about all the guilt we moms can feel on a daily basis. I wish I could give you a solution for not feeling that guilt. However, I think it’s probably a necessary evil. If you didn’t feel guilt I might worry about you. Feeling guilty means that you know you can do better. In motherhood as in life I think we are never finished growing. There is no such thing as the perfect mother out there nor will there ever be. Guilt is just part of being human.

I CAN say give yourself a break. Although some days it feels like we are supposed to do it all and be everything for each of our kids--this is real life. As long as you can lay your head on the pillow at night and tell yourself that you did the best you could, then you can ignore those guilty feelings. God does not call us to be everything for our kids. God calls us to do the best we can.

So if you see me out in public and my hair is a mess, one kid has marker on his face, the other is in mis-matched clothes, and the baby is screaming, just cut me a break-- I’m probably already feeling guilty about all of that and more. And if I see you in the middle of your child throwing a tantrum and you losing your temper I’ll give you the knowing smile and nod of the head. Then I’ll say a quick prayer for you and turn around to chase my own child down, since inevitably she has wandered down yet another aisle without me.

The Greatest Present

So I had this great 12 things I’m thankful for post all ready to go for today--but I haven’t had time to finish it. I’m hoping to work on it later tonight and post it tomorrow. J

Today is going to have to be a quick post instead.

Today I just want to remind everyone to take time to enjoy your children. In the hustle and bustle that is the holiday season I think it’s so easy to overlook the greatest present we can give our children--time.

 I don’t know about you, but I can tell an immediate change in my kids' attitudes when I spend even 5 minutes playing with them. Sure it’s easier to flip on a cartoon and have them sit in front of the TV while I’m getting one of the million things crossed off of my “to do” list, but it really is priceless to spend time with them while they are little.

I read a sign the other day that said “please excuse the mess, we live here.” What a great message. The most fun times I have with my kids are those times where I look up after 30 minutes and there is a gigantic mess in every room. Oh well. I can clean it up after they go to bed. While they are awake I’m going to take time to play and enjoy their company. I hope that you take some time for your kids on these cold winter days. You just might be pleasantly surprised at something they say or do.

Part 3 of 3

http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2012/12/7252/

Hopefully, later this week we'll get back to some posts to me.  :)

Part 2 of 3

Part 2 of 3


http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2012/12/7250/

Part 1 of 3

I've written often about my view of the family and marriage. Usually I just write from my view point and I don't include a lot of facts to back up my assertations. However, I came across a wonderful 3 part article series that I wanted to share. Considering that I haven't had much time to write blog posts I thought these would be wonderful while I'm catching up. :)

Part 1

http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2012/12/7248/

I'll put part 2 up tomorrow.

The Fight

So, I had this long post all prepared for the day before “the big election”. However, I just got done reading and eating Nilla wafers with Jackson, and all the rhetoric seemed kind of trivial. Playing with my little boy reminded me what life is all about. It’s not about being Republican or Democrat. It’s not about who wins the power tomorrow.

This wonderful, amazing, blessed life is about glorifying God each and every day.

I am a mom. I am pro-life. I am pro-religious freedom. I am pro-family.

Tomorrow I will vote so that my voice does not get over-looked. I will vote in the hopes of electing individuals I believe will bring goodness into office. I will vote because it’s the right thing to do.

I hope you will join me.

Please continue to pray for our elected officials, our God given rights, our families, and our future.

Remember to never stop fighting for what’s right.

　

You Wanna Judge Me?

As I was debating whether or not to finish up laundry or get a work out and shower in before the kids got up from their naps today I started to realize why so many moms are fat. That’s probably not a very nice way to put it at all. What I guess I really mean is-- why are there so many moms out there that don’t take care of themselves?

We’ve all been told to take that time out for ourselves. (I believe that is essential to survival at this point.) We’ve all been told to put ourselves first once in a while. We’ve even all been told that by us being healthy our children will not only learn to be healthy, but will have us around longer as well. Then why is it so darn hard?

It’s hard because we are mom’s. We aren’t used to leaving something until later. We look at our house as our office, and the saying that a cluttered office makes for a cluttered mind is just as true as a cluttered house. We simply DO NOT have enough time in a day to get it all done. And I’m here to tell you that at this point I don’t care. For once in my life I’m giving in--it’s not all going to get done. Sorry.

Wait, why am I apologizing to you? I’m really the only one that cares about ALL of it.

But let’s face it--we’re each others biggest critics. It’s so easy to make judgments about other moms--even when we’ve been there. We are all human and we really do strive to be better than those around us. It’s time we stop trying to be better and start being on each others side. It’s a little easier said than done. Really think about it. If you went to a friends house for a play date and it was a disaster--you’d judge. If you went out to lunch with a friend and she looked like crap--you’d judge. If a friend’s kid was a hot mess and a brat while you were around--you’d judge.

Well mommas, judge me or don’t judge me but I’m giving up. Today I decided to work out instead of finish laundry. I took my kids to a play place this morning and our suitcases are still not unpacked from visiting family in Indiana over the weekend. After my kiddos went to bed last night I snuck 4 (that’s right 4) pieces of candy out of their bags.

I guess sometimes something just has to give. Maybe once I catch back up with my life I can do it ALL again, but for now I’m ok with only doing some of it--just give me a 15 minute heads up before dropping by so I can make sure the disaster that is my house isn’t TOO disgusting. And if you run into me somewhere and I look a little disheveled it’s probably because I have 3 small children and that’s just what happens. And now I’m going to go sneak another piece of candy from a Halloween basket, because I love candy, and I can take my time and enjoy the candy because all the kids are asleep. J

　

　

Sweet Song by Eliza

This is a song that Eliza has been learning at preschool. She performed it during chapel at her school yesterday, and then did a solo performance for us last night before bed.

I've heard this song probably 100 times in the last few weeks and every time I love hearing it. It has such a deep meaning. Sometimes as a mother I think it's easy to forget that our ultimate goal is to raise our kids to be good and faithful human beings. It's easy to talk about all the things they should do or all the things they should say. We are quick to remind them of their manners and even quicker to correct bad behavior.

But what about OUR actions?

Children learn by the example they are given. This is especially obvious when they are young and learning things for the first time. They like to repeat what we've said, they like to mock our actions, and they like to follow us around and watch our every move. We are their first teachers, not only by what we say to them, but what we show them by our actions.

In this world we are surrounded by evil. Sin is everywhere we look. We can't even turn the news on without hearing about someone being kidnapped or shot. Our TV shows are full of what society calls "the new normal". Taking our children shopping, even just to the grocery store, can reveal the latest fashion trends that are less than modest. The culture of sex seems to surround us. Where is the goodness? Where are the values?

Those are up to us. WE must be the example for our children. Their little eyes see everything that we do. Their little ears hear the words that we say and how we say them. Their little hands repeat our own actions. The only way to reverse this culture of sin is to be the example that our children can mock. It's time we stop complaining about all the craziness out there and stand up and DO something.

Speak to your children with kind words, and know that they are listening when you speak to others. Do good deeds for others and encourage your children to help. Say prayers with your children and make sure your children see you praying on your own. We are the only ones who can make the future one of love, hope, and morality.

If my words don't touch your heart listen to Eliza sing that song again--and if she doesn't touch your heart I'm not sure what will.

Sometimes I Hate Oklahoma

I think it’s fair to say that I am just a little bit crazy. I don’t think you get into the mom profession without a little bit of craziness. Some days I feel a little crazier than others, and today just happened to be one of those days. The kids were being great this morning and I really needed to get to Target for a few things. If I didn’t, Gavin would be wearing one of Jackson’s diapers this afternoon. So I packed them all up and headed off to Target.

When I take all three kids out I have a pretty solid plan down. I put Gavin in the baby pack, Jackson in the cart, and Eliza walks holding onto the cart. It works pretty well. Today as I opened my car door I nearly fell over from the wind. I grabbed a cart, stuck Jackson in the front, had Eliza hold onto the side, and I put Gavin in the pack. We walked inside being blown sideways the entire way. My list wasn’t too long, so I proceeded to get everything, and because the kids were so good I decided to let them pick out Halloween baskets. They were in the dollar aisle so I figured it was a good bargain on my part. (Plus it's boss's day and I am kinda like their employee--haha) We checked out and headed back out in the wind “storm” to load everything in the car.

I think the wind was even stronger on our way out. I managed to get Eliza in the car, tossed Jackson in his seat and started tossing bags in the car. Poor little Gavin was holding on for dear life. I held his head under a blanket with one hand, held the cart with one foot, and tossed bags with the other hand. And of course the Halloween baskets go flying out of my cart. In that split second I had to decide if I was going to abandon my empty cart and run after the baskets with Gavin strapped to my front or if I would just watch where they go and attempt to get them after I put him in his seat. Luckily, I chose the saner option and decided to put him in his seat first. I thought chasing down rolling baskets in the Target parking lot with a baby strapped to my chest probably wasn’t the best idea. Anyway, I watched where the baskets rolled--they had to stop eventually right.

Then I saw what I thought was a good Samaritan, that must have seen my thoughts of running after the baskets, pull over and jump out of their car to grab the baskets. By this point the baskets are completely across the parking lot and stuck in a line of trees. They start driving back towards me. I figured they’d just pull up right beside me and hand me the baskets. Oh no. They parked a little ways away and hoped out like nothing was going on. I ran over to them, asked them about picking up the baskets, and they said they hadn’t picked them up and didn’t even see them. (So now I think I’m really crazy) I thought maybe they hadn’t picked them up and they were still stuck in the trees. A little frustratingly (b/c I knew they were just lying to me) I got in the car and drove across the parking lot keeping an eye out for the baskets. They weren’t there. I even drove across the street to see if they somehow blew threw the trees. They weren’t there. I guess a couple kids just get some free Halloween baskets. That part doesn’t bother me at all, the part that bothers me is that these people just lied to my face over $2 of baskets. Oh well. Sometimes I wonder why all this crazy stuff happens to me. I really can't make it up!

 As I look back in my head of how I managed to hold onto my cart and get my kids in the car while some of my purchase went flying in the air it just makes me laugh. Sometimes I really do hate Oklahoma--but at least the wind here is strong enough that as I made the split decision to not run after $1 baskets they were far enough away to help make up my mind.

Just an Update

It’s been a crazy week or so around here. Keeping up with this blog isn’t going as I hoped. I’ve had multiple topics I’ve thought about and hilarious stuff happen in the last week, the problem is I have no memory so if I don’t write them down immediately I just forget about them.

I’m going to try to get you up to date with this post and next week I’ll attempt to “get a little deeper” with my posts.

Gavin was baptized this past Sunday. It was wonderful. We had some family come in from out of town and Gavin was decked out in the hand-me-down baptismal gown that has been passed down from my oldest uncle on my dad’s side through 13 children, bunches of grandchildren, and now on to great-grandchildren. It’s pretty awesome to think about how many babies have been baptized in the same gown.

　

　

After everyone left Monday morning we attempted to get back to normal around here. I’ve decided that there isn’t really a normal though. We’ve begun to get ready for fall/winter which means cleaning out dressers and closets. It takes a lot of time to pack and unpack and organize everything. I think the hardest thing about it all is after the kids closets are nice and organized they just want to play with all the toys they see that they haven’t played with in a while. Half of me wants to be excited for me but most of me wants to say please don’t mess it all up, I just cleaned it all up. But kids will be kids and I’m trying to remember that.

Eliza had a class field trip to Orr Family Farm this week too. In case you don’t know Orr Family Farm is a fun little farm around Oklahoma city. The kids got to see animals, go on pony rides, ride the train, and pick a pumpkin from the pumpkin patch. Brian was able to go with Eliza and brought Jackson along too. They all had a wonderful time, and it gave me a chance to get a little shopping done. It felt very weird being out and about with only one kid.

Today it is pouring down rain--which helps motivate me to finish up the organizing. I know this post wasn’t all that interesting, but I guess that’s just real life. I’ll do my best to spice it up next week with the funny things my kids do on a daily basis. (As long as I remember to write them down.)


A few more pictures from the weekend:

                                                    Baba and the grandkids wrestling.
                                           There was a lot of wrestling over the weekend.
                                           

                                                               Eliza being silly.

                                                             Cousins Quinn and Eliza

 

                                                                   Lovely Eliza

                                                                 Sweet Jackson

                                                          Baba giving Eliza a horsey ride.

Cousins chillin after a long day of playing.

                                        Gavin sleeping through the craziness of the weekend.

                                                        Uncle Michael and Gavin

                                                              Yum...puppy chow!

                                     Poor Jackson was scared to death of a toad in this picture.

A Love Like Ours

“I love you.” Such a simple phrase with a huge meaning. I don’t know how you look at the phrase “I love you” but I’m a pretty selective “I love you” sayer. Honestly, I’ve only ever said “I love you” to my family and to my husband. It’s just a very serious thing to me. I never said it to any boyfriends either--except for Brian.

Our love story began with me saying I love you to him before we ever started dating. We had been best friends for years so he knew very well how big of a deal me saying that was. Brian had chased me for years and I always blew him off--for some reason it just never clicked for me. I guess all that needed to happen was for him to be taken away to college for me to realize my true feelings. I was only 17 at the time, but when I said I love you to Brian it was as if I said “I do.” I knew at that very moment that I would spend the rest of my life with him. It’s a crazy thing to know at 17, but I really did know. Now 10 or so years later we are together still with 3 beautiful children.

The word love is not very respected in our society. I feel like people don’t truly understand the meaning of love, and it wasn’t until I thought about it recently that I realized just how amazing the love between Brian and I is. I kept trying to figure out why. Why are we so “in love”? Why does our marriage work so well? Why does it seem like our love multiplies every single day? The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it all has to do with our foundation. The foundation of our relationship has always been God. Even when we were just friends--our friendship was rooted in our faith. When we began dating God was always the center of our lives independently and together. We strived to follow God’s will through our dating relationship and we continue to strive to follow God’s will in our marriage.

We do it together. We have had some very hard times and some very good and happy times, but the one thing that remains the same through it all is our foundation in God that we follow together. We do some things in our marriage that very few couples do today, and quite frankly a lot of people probably think are just crazy. (more on that later) We do these things because we are faithful, not just to each other, but to God. The amazing thing about being faithful to God is that He will always provide. I don’t just mean financially but I mean in every way possible.

It seems like in today’s society marriage is just a next step. It’s not seen as a forever bond as man and wife, it’s seen as something to do and something that can be undone at any point. The crazy thing is that society really embraces this idea of undoing marriage. People are encouraged to separate and divorce all the time for all sorts of stupid reasons or no reason at all. It’s time that the faithful take over again. It’s time for marriage to be a serious thing again. It’s time that we start encouraging engaged couples to have a foundation in God. No one ever said marriage was easy--it’s time we tell young people that marriage isn’t easy, but it is worth it. It’s time that we stop taking the easy way out. Taking the right path is more often than not the hard path. It’s time to encourage morality in this ever-progressive world. It’s time to speak up and let the faithful be heard, because I don’t know about you but I’m not going down without a fight. I will continue to fight for a moral and decent world for my children to grow up in.

Love is an action not a feeling. Let’s start acting.

What's Your Because...(Part 2)

It’s so easy to look at the negatives. It’s human nature to feel sorry for yourself and to always look towards greener pastures. What if instead of always looking for something better we were satisfied with what we have. We are so abundantly blessed that we have no right ever complaining. We have our bad days--sure. Our good days are so good though. Recognizing that we need God is a huge step and those hard times help us need Him.

So I took all the negative "because statements" from the other day and I turned them into positives. I can’t say that this is how I always look at my life, but doing this little exercise has reminded me that I should think about the negatives in the positive before I feel sorry for myself. You should try it.

　

Because the way my 20 month old communicates is pretty darn funny.

Because my 3 year old hasn’t pooped in her pants in 2 days.

Because my 3 year old does things at meal time that amaze me to the point of smiling and shaking my head when I should just spank her.

Because when I was grocery shopping without any children.

Because I just turned around and the box of Lucky Charms is all over the floor, but both kids just dove right in and started eating all the marshmallows. That’s one way to get it cleaned up.

Because pinterest does have some pretty cool ideas for me, my family, and my house.

Because I have no privacy--bathroom time for me is either party time or story time depending on what the kids decide. Not everyone can say they get to party every day.

Because I didn’t vacuum at all today.

Because my family has enough clothes to have piles of laundry to do.

Because everywhere I go I have multiple people “reminding” me that I have my hands full and that reminds me how blessed I am to have such great kids.

Because my kids are smart enough to push a chair over to reach anything that’s supposed to be out of their reach, which means they can grab some chocolate for me while I’m stuck breastfeeding the baby.

Because Eliza is rambunctious and full of energy all the time.

Because my husband might not do a great job rinsing his plate, but he works so hard every day to provide for our family.

Because gummy vitamins all over the floor make for a fun keep away game with my 20 month old.

Because we are blessed enough to have a new van that fits all the kids.

Because sleep is overrated when you have bonding to do.

Because not everyone can brag that they can squirt milk across the room from their boobs.

Because the preschool teacher tells me that my 3 year old is always good at school.

Because my 3 year old likes to “paint” herself with sidewalk chalk and water and therefore my 20 month old thinks it’s a wonderful idea to follow suit. Hilarious sight.

Because some days I get lucky enough to enjoy some quiet time during the middle of the day while the kids are napping.

Because my 3 year olds’ nap time has turned into puzzle time, Candyland time, and coloring time -- bonding time!

Because certain people don’t know how else to communicate other than asking for some help, and I’m lucky to be able to lend some advice.

Because when we do see grandparents it’s always super special and for multiple days at a time.

Because my house is messy with children’s art work and those fingerprints are the most beautiful artwork I could think of to decorate my house with.

Because we can afford to buy good food and I learned how to make that good food into a healthy meal for my family every night.

Because the majority of nights I get to battle with my 3 year old to eat that home-cooked meal and she is healthy and happy because of it.

Because it is NEVER quiet in my house. Noise is so comforting to me now and chaos is weirdly calming.

Because bad things happen to the good people in my life and I do my best to be there for them along their journey.

Because I’m tired. I’m tired because I get to spend all day and night with my children.

Because communication through tantrums is the only way sometimes.

Because most days I work more than 24 hours. And I love most parts of it.

Because I’m so blessed to be a mom.

Because we can afford to buy new kitchen appliances.

Because my children learn so much because they always ask why.

Because my 20 month old chucks his pacifier at the door to let me know he’s up from his nap, and then in his growl language points at it when I open the door like he has no idea how it flew across the room. I laugh every time I get him out of his bed and so does he.

Because little kids need a lot of things repeated.

Because I love nursing my baby and I’m so blessed to be able to stay home and take care of him.

Because sometimes you just gotta take a break from working out.

Because I’m so lucky to have enough milk to provide my baby with nourishment.

Because when my husband doesn’t get home until after 6:30 it means he was working hard yet again.

Because some days we laugh and play and eat ice cream before dinner.

Because having everyone remind you of things is nice.

Because I don’t really care what I look like most mornings. At least I have a working and healthy body.

Because not completing a thought has become the norm and it can make for some very funny conversations.

Because I could probably write 3 more pages of these if I spent all day tomorrow working on this.

　

　
　

Because the truth is that my cup is over flowing-- it’s no where near half full or half empty.

What's Your Because... (Part 1)

The thing about life is that there are 2 sides of it. Both are very real. There is the optimistic, glass half full, sunshine every day, glorious side and then there is the pessimistic, glass half empty, dreary, grey side. Normally I'm on the sunshine team...today we're going to dissect the dreary side.

The following is a list of why life stinks, why I should be crazy, why I need a whole lot of prayers to get me through the day, just why. (I'm sure a lot of you will understand)


Because the way my 20 month old communicates is through a series of growls.

Because my 3 year old has decided it’s a good idea to poop in her pants during “nap time”.

Because my 3 year old managed to not only spill her milk all over herself, but she managed to rip a huge hole in her shirt as well.

Because when I was grocery shopping without any children I was asked when I was due.

Because I just turned around and the box of Lucky Charms is all over the floor.

Because pinterest doesn’t have a pin to give me extra arms, extra legs, or extra energy.

Because I have no privacy--bathroom time for me is either party time or story time depending on what the kids decide.

Because I could vacuum my house 4 times every day and it would still need a 5^th vacuuming.

Because there is always laundry to do, in fact, there is always laundry in the washer and dryer.

Because everywhere I go I have multiple people “reminding” me that I have my hands full.

Because my kids are smart enough to push a chair over to reach anything that’s supposed to be out of their reach.



Because my husband still doesn’t know how to rinse his plate before putting it in the sink.

Because while I was changing the baby’s diaper my 21 month old got to the gummy vitamins, somehow opened the bottle, and was making a mad dash to eat as many as he could before I got to him.

Because when I got in the car to buckle all the kids into their car-seats my hair got stuck on the clothes hanger of the car ceiling.

Because I haven’t slept more than 2 straight hours in months.

Because breast feeding truly makes you feel like a cow--a cow that can squirt milk across the room on any given day.

Because the preschool teacher tells me that my 3 year old is really good at getting messy--as if I didn’t already know.

Because my 3 year old likes to “paint” herself with sidewalk chalk and water and therefore my 20 month old thinks it’s a wonderful idea to follow suit.

Because “is it nap time yet?” is something I say multiple times a day.

Because my 3 year olds’ nap time has turned into puzzle time, Candyland time, and coloring time yet again today.

Because certain people only call/text me when they need something from me.

　

Because I don’t have the option to drop the kids off at the Grandparents house and run to the store real quick.

Because, not only is the world my children’s canvas, the inside of my house seems to be their canvas as well.

Because the majority of nights I make a home-cooked meal that is actually healthy for my family.

Because the majority of nights I battle with my 3 year old to eat that home-cooked meal.

Because it is NEVER quiet in my house.

Because no matter how desperately I want to fix the problems of the people I love sometimes there is absolutely nothing I can do.

Because I’m tired.

Because I secretly understand why little kids throw tantrums--and some days I want to do the exact same thing.

Because most days I work more than 24 hours.

Because only 1 out of 3 of my children speaks actual words and I still want to change my name from “mom” to anything else.

Because multiple kitchen appliances decided to break on the exact same day.

Because why? Why does it matter?

Because my 20 month old chucks his pacifier at the door to let me know he’s up from his nap, and then in his growl language points at it when I open the door like he has no idea how it flew across the room.

Because I’m tired of repeating myself.

Because as I was burping the baby today he spit up and it cascaded right down my cleavage.

Because I had a c-section 3 ½ weeks ago and I already feel guilty for not working out yet even though I’m not allowed to for 3 more weeks.

Because of that feeling you get when your milk comes in.

Because when my husband doesn’t get home until after 6:30 it makes for a really long day.

Because some days it feels like all I do is correct and spank my children.

Because having children really does kill your memory.

Because some mornings brushing my teeth and throwing my hair up is about all the energy I have for me.

Because not completing a thought has become the norm.

Because I could probably write 3 more pages of these if I spent all day tomorrow working on this.


What's your beacause??

God Will Provide

"God will provide."

We’ve all heard this magic phrase. It’s one of those comfort phrases that people say to you when you are going through a tough time. They might as well just say “hang in there, He will take care of you”. It’s a phrase that is hard to believe unless you’ve truly experienced it, and then it’s pretty amazing.

Brian and I were fortunate enough to experience this first hand yesterday. The day had come to take our 3 little munchkins to Mass for the first time. To say that we were dreading it is a HUGE understatement. Even as we were getting ready in the morning Brian looked at me and said “I may never go to Mass again!” On the way to church I led our family in a little prayer. I felt that it was the only way that I could calm my nerves about taking three small children to Mass. It was a simple prayer and a prayer asking for help--and you know what… it actually worked. I saw this little cry for help prayer answered before my eyes!

As we pulled in the parking lot I took a deep breath-- not to calm myself, but because I smelled something gross. I thought to myself, how are we going to make it through mass when I have to change a poopy diaper before we even make it through the door! Well, apparently all my children are on the same bathroom schedule, and after 2 dirty diaper changes,1 run to the bathroom followed by nursing Gavin in the Narthex we had made it through our first Mass as a family of 5. The crazy thing is that it was one of the best church experiences we’ve had in years. Both Eliza and Jackson were really well behaved and except for a little cry of hunger Gavin was awake and checking stuff out the whole time without another sound.

It would have been easy to put off going to Mass. Shoot, it would be easy to put off going to Mass for a few more years until the craziness has passed. Fortunately, we’re not in this for the easy. We’re in this to glorify God in all that we do each and every day. Amazingly, God provided us with a wonderful experience of enjoying heaven on earth with our family during mass on Sunday. That one Mass is going to give me something to look to for hope while I go through my days of craziness this week.

Mondays, Meltdowns, and Mischief

I’ve been told by multiple people that having 3 kids is the hardest. I was even told that by my aunt who has 11 children. How is 3 possibly harder than 11?

We’re on our third day by ourselves. Grandma and Mimi are back in Indiana and back to their regular routines. As for our routine…ha! We’re not there yet. I keep telling myself that once we get into routine we’ll be ok, now I just have to survive until that routine is set. I keep praying it won’t take long!

I’m trying to take advantage of the 10 minutes I have while Eliza is at school, Gavin is fed and happy, and Jackson is happily playing to write a bit. As I’m typing Jackson is now climbing over my legs and begging for attention. J (So much for finishing this in one sitting!)

I’ve learned just a few things already about having 3 children that I thought were worthy of sharing. First of all having 3 children 3 years old and under is hard work! I know I’m going to love the age gap between them soon--but for now it’s just flat out exhausting. The exhaustion is one of the reasons for the title of this blog post. So far every day has felt like a Monday. You know what I mean. You wake up in sort of a daze, not quite sure what day it is and then when you realize you have to get up and get to work you grumpily drag yourself out of bed. My dragging has kind of turned into a hop at the sound of Gavin wanting his early morning feeding. I keep thinking maybe I can squeeze in a few minutes of sleep after he’s done, but so far the house is up and hopping by the time that morning feeding is done. Maybe I’ll become a morning person??

Have you ever seen a 27 year old have a meltdown? Imagine a 3 year old’s tantrum and just replace the 3 year old with a 27 year old.

　

Haha.

　

I’m just kidding.

　

I haven’t had a meltdown yet, but we sure have had our share of meltdowns from each of the kids. I anticipated this would happen though. You don’t just throw a newborn and sleep deprived mom into the mix of every day normalcy and expect that it will remain normal. Luckily, the meltdowns have been limited and they seem to correct themselves rather quickly. Maybe it’s the prayer I send up every time we’re on the verge or maybe I’ve just gotten really good at distraction? Whatever the case is we’ve had our daily meltdowns and as crazy as it sounds when only 2 kids are crying it’s pretty manageable--it’s when all three have lost it that my sanity starts to waiver. I’ve learned to just sing my way through it. Eliza started singing “I’m not Perfect” at the end of a long day and it seemed like the perfect theme song for us, so I just belt it out when I feel a little on edge. (See the link below)

I’m convinced that breast feeding is the perfect time for toddlers to get into as much trouble as they possibly can. I remember the mischief from Eliza when Jackson was a newborn and now the trouble has doubled or tripled!! It makes perfect sense. I think Gavin is going to learn how to hold on for dear life as I nurse him with one arm while doing all sorts of things with the other. It’s actually quite comical if you think about it. Let’s just call it the modern housewife. Running around the house half topless with a newborn attached to one boob, hair a wild mess, chasing two toddlers who are smart enough to understand the limitations of their mother. Great picture huh?

Through all of this I’ve been reminded by some very good veteran mothers to smile and keep a good sense of humor. Laughing and smiling has helped me through so far, let’s hope the comedy continues. J




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uoKvs5a-fQ (Fast forward video a bit to get to the song)

Gavin Michael

Gavin Michael was born August 31, 2012 at 8:52am. He weighed in at 9lbs. 2oz. and was 20.5 inches long. (BIG BOY!!)

Life sure has changed since this little guy was born. We had the honeymoon phase for about 2 weeks while Grandma and Mimi took care of us.

Everyone was well taken care of and doing great. We even managed to sneak in some fun indoor time during the crazy rainy days we experienced.

Today marked the first day for me to do it all on my own though. Honestly, it has gone pretty well. There's not much alone time and it seems like one of the 3 is always needing something, but so far I'm lovin' it. It's pretty hard not to love it when you're blessed with 3 beautiful kids!

Thank you for all the thoughts, prayers, and love! Stay tuned for an updated blog with new pictures. (If I ever have time to get around to changing it all) :)

Ready or Not...

Can you ever truly prepare for a huge change in your life? I guess you can plan for all possible outcomes, and get mentally prepared, but you can’t ever really imagine what it’s going to be like after the huge change occurs.

The newest member of our family will be joining us Friday morning. While I am extremely excited and everyone around me seems to be quite excited too (which I love!) I am nervous as well. Nervous about going through the c-section, nervous about what kind of baby he’ll be, nervous about how Eliza and Jackson will adjust, nervous about the recovery, just all around nervous. Everyone can tell me that it’s all going to be ok and everything will be perfect, but no one really knows-which I guess is why all my nerves are on edge.

I’m hoping that come Friday morning my excitement will outweigh the nerves. All I can really do at this point is keep praying about everything. I’d appreciate everyone else’s prayers too. As I’ve said before I’m not good when I don’t have control, and one thing I can control is my prayers. So I hope to spend the next day and a half saying a lot of prayers for calmness and health for me and my baby boy.

My family is so lucky to have all the support that we have. My mother-in-law is making the trek out here tomorrow to stay with us for the first week or so and then my mom is coming out here right after that. I know I won’t be able to do it without them! We are also so blessed to have many friends around here that are willing to put in a helping hand, even the smallest thing seems to make a huge difference when family is so far away. I just wanted to say a special thank-you to all the wonderful people in our lives. We are so excited to get to share this wonderful miracle of life with all of you.

We’ll try to post some pictures and info on Friday morning--probably on facebook. Once I’ve recovered a bit I’ll get some posted on here too.

The Waiting Game

People always say that God puts the opportunity in your life to help you achieve something that you really need. So if you pray for patience He will give you many opportunities to become patient. I think I should stop praying for patience. Unfortunately, patience is one of those many times a day prayers for me. Sometimes it’s a simple “please give me patience with this child” and other times it’s a bit longer and more dire prayer--especially lately as I wait for this new little boy to get here.

I think patience is one thing that I’ve prayed for my entire life. For some reason it just doesn’t come naturally to me. Maybe it’s today’s world with all it’s modern conveniences that seem to be a simple click away, or maybe it’s because I want for so little, or just maybe I am doomed to always be an impatient person regardless of the practice I receive on a daily basis. I guess I’m just going to have to settle with lots of prayers to get me through.

You’ve probably played the “waiting game” at some point in your life. Maybe you’ve had to wait for months, weeks, days, or even hours. It doesn’t seem to matter the length of time you have to wait, the waiting game is one of the hardest games ever to be “played”. When it’s all over though, it’s well worth the wait--usually at least.

Today I have another doctor’s appointment. It feels like I have been going to the doctor’s office once a week for a while now. My c-section has been scheduled for next Friday, August 31^st. I keep secretly hoping that at one of my last two appointments the doctor is just going to say--”ok let’s just do this”. Those of you who have been pregnant before totally understand what I mean. It seems like an eternity ago that the pregnancy test popped up positive. It seems like years ago that I was puking my guts out hoping to make it through the first trimester. I’ve known this baby is a boy for how many weeks now? Pregnancy is just a long process--obviously a necessary one, but still long. I’m thankful for the time I’ve had to prepare for his birth, and I’m thankful for a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby that is getting bigger each and every day, but I’m done.

So today I am asking for prayers. Prayers of patience for me. Prayers that I can enjoy this last week and a half with my kids and husband. Prayers that the aches and pains that come with a 9 month pregnant body may subside a bit. Prayers for low anxiety as the “big day” gets closer. Prayers that everything goes well during surgery.

I guess one thing I can keep doing while I play this waiting game is keep saying prayers! J

Fetomaternal Microchimerism

Wow! That’s pretty much the only word to describe my thinking right now. It’s been a heck of a week, and I don’t even want to go into details because they don’t really matter. The “wow” is more a declaration of how awesome God is. It’s not like I don’t know this, but sometimes when you are looking for explanation for events or just something to help you make sense of things He slaps you in the face with another amazing thing.

Brace yourself.



I learned an amazing new thing today. It is called fetomaternal microchimerism.  Kind of an intense word huh? Have you ever heard it before? Yeah, me neither. Fetomaternal microchimerism is the term to explain that every child literally leaves behind a piece of themselves in their mother. That’s right. Cells from each child that a woman houses in her uterus stay with that mother forever. Let me state that again, every child leaves a microscopic part of themselves with their mother that remains with that mother FOREVER.

I’m almost at a loss for words. This seems like such an amazing thing to me. We are physically linked to our children for life--how awesome is that?

I learned this fact when reading about Mary. The Assumption of Mary was August 15^th. For those of you who aren’t Catholic it is a holy day where we celebrate Mary’s body and soul being assumed into heaven. Mary’s body was a living tabernacle for Jesus--not just when she was pregnant with him, but forever. Christ’s divine body did not undergo corruption, even those few cells that were left in Mary’s body. For some reason it helps me understand the assumption of Mary at an even deeper level.

When you think about fetomaternal microchimerism in today’s world it’s just as amazing. All mothers out there know that they are forever changed the moment they become pregnant. It doesn’t take birthing a child for your whole life to change in an instant. The moment that test is positive your life is forever changed. I’ve always thought of myself as being a vessel for my children. I’ve always believed that I need to be the best vessel I possibly can be so that they can be as healthy as possible. Now I know that my body will forever be a vessel for my children. They will always be a physical part of me regardless of where they are physically or mentally.

Now if only there was a way to control their actions with those few cells!! J

　

Feeling Blue...

These posts seem to be getting more and more spread out--I guess that’s what happens this time of year. J

Yesterday I had a great appointment with my doctor. They did an ultra sound to check the size of this little boy and he is weighing in at around 8lbs. 6ozs. Usually in the third trimester ultra sounds can be off by a pound in either direction, so I’m guessing he is about 7+ pounds right now. The doctor is bumping up the dates of the c-section too. He doesn’t want to risk uterine rupture at all, so we’re having the c-section at exactly 39 weeks. Right now that would be August 31^st, however, he wants to re-evaluate my chart and see if he can bump it up even more than that. So it looks like we’ll be meeting this little guy in 2 weeks or so!

I brought Eliza with me to the appointment because I thought she might enjoy seeing her baby brother on ultra sound. She was super excited to join in, however once we were in the ultra sound room she was a bit freaked out. She thought the jelly and the wand were hurting me and wasn’t quite sure what was going on. She insisted that I was hurt even though I kept telling her it didn’t hurt at all. Later that day she explained to me that when they took the baby out it wouldn’t hurt at all--not like that ultra sound. I tried telling her that when the baby comes out it’s much more painful, but she was convinced.

I guess we were on the theme of boys yesterday because when I sent the kids out to play while I made dinner they decided to take blue chalk and mix it with water and paint themselves. Normally I wouldn’t really care about this--they were having a blast after all. However, we were heading to Eliza’s school for back to school night right after dinner. Still it wasn’t THAT big of a deal, I would just throw them in the shower and they could eat and get dressed and we’d be on our way. Or so I thought. I tossed them in the shower and lathered them up. I let them play for a few minutes and then went to get them out. Much to my surprise they were still BLUE! So I scrubbed them some more, still blue. At first I was just frustrated and then I just chuckled--I guess Eliza’s teacher was just going to meet the real Eliza. So there we went to back-to-school night with blue children. Hopefully, it will come off in their bath tonight but for now I just look at them and smile. It makes me think of all the “blue” that we have coming with another little boy.

Like Father, Like Daughter

You know that phrase “What would Jesus do?”. It became really popular when I was in high school. Kids started wearing those bracelets with WWJD on them and it seemed as if that phrase was everywhere. I never really gave into the hype, in fact I thought some of those people were using the phrase to support some bad behavior that they didn’t want judged. It just didn’t make much sense to me. But then again, I wasn’t really your average teenager.

As others were trying to get far away from their parents and tried to do everything they could to “rebel” I was pretty confident in my parents. Instead of thinking about what Jesus would do I would often wonder what my parents would do or say in certain situations. That’s not to say that Jesus wasn’t or isn’t a huge part of my life--but somehow my parents seemed a little more “real”. I was able to visualize them easier and because they were human I knew that I could try to live up to their standards better than I could live up to being perfect like Jesus. (Not that I didn’t or don’t try to be as perfect as I can every day) The problem was that my parents had amazingly high standards. Looking back at those adolescent years I am so thankful for those standards. I wanted to please my parents and make them proud of who I was as a person. I wanted them to be able to brag about me and to tell their friends that I was such a good teenager. I think most of the time I did a pretty good job of that.

Now that I am an adult I still find myself thinking “what would my parents do/say?” Once I thought that it might not be good that I think that way, but after thinking about it I’m glad I still have those thoughts. My parents are wonderful people. They live holy lives and strive to serve God in all that they do. Why wouldn’t I want their approval?

I’ve talked about how much I look up to my mom multiple times on this blog. I haven’t really talked about my dad very much. I’m pretty lucky to have the dad that I do. I would not be the person I am today if it weren’t for my dad. We were pretty much side-kicks during my teenage years. (drove my mom crazy!) You hear all the time about how important the father/daughter relationship is, and I am here to tell you that it is! For some reason the relationship that a father and a daughter have totally shapes a girl into womanhood. One of my brothers even likes to say that I’m a clone of my dad’s. I don’t think that’s quite the case, but we are very similar in how we think and how we look at life.

This morning I received an e-mail from my dad. Which is weird for more than one reason. My dad is about the last person I ever expect to receive e-mails from. He types one finger pecking at a time. He’s always had a secretary to do all the typing. So I was pleasantly surprised when I received the e-mail. It’s also weird to hear from my dad, he’s not really great at keeping up communication. Usually, I call him and check in, so hearing from him was a pleasant surprise. It was a pretty simple e-mail, but it really made my day. It was the best way to start out the day--hearing that my dad is proud of me. It’s not that I didn’t know that already, but it’s always nice to hear over again. It made me think that I need to do a better job of letting all the people in my life know how much I love them.

Whenever we hear that someone loves us or is proud of us--especially when it’s a parent saying it to a child, it gives us an especially wonderful feeling inside. So if you are a parent, don’t forget that no matter how old your child is or how “grown up” they may seem, hearing that you are proud of them and love them is one of the greatest gifts you can ever give them. Not to mention it helps remind me that even though I am an adult and I am accountable for my own actions my parents still have standards that they expect me to live up to, and I’m glad they do. Luckily I seem to be meeting those standards--or at least coming close.

　

Let's Talk About Sex...

My blogging has been a bit behind. We had a bit of a wild week around here, which is saying something because there wasn’t much planned--it just turned into one of those weeks. From the look of my calendar from now until the baby comes we have a TON going on. Which is a good thing and a bad thing. I’ll do my best to keep updating, but I’m not promising anything.

So anyway, I missed out on a great opportunity to inform all you wonderful people of something near and dear to my heart last week. It was NFP (natural family planning) awareness week. Aside from our moral opposition to birth control Brian and I practice NFP for multiple reasons. Unfortunately, sex is not something that is really discussed in our society. Everything seems to be sexualized, but the wonderful thing that is monogamous sex between a husband and wife isn’t really even whispered about. It’s like people are afraid to talk about it or something.

Don’t worry, this like pretty much any topic, is not “scary” to me. In fact, I love talking about sex. I love having discussions with people about how wonderful sex can be. It shouldn’t be a taboo topic, instead it should be a topic that we discuss and educate ourselves on regularly. I’m not talking about going into detail about a husband and a wife in the bedroom--that should remain between you and your spouse. The joy that it brings to your life and the freedom that it can bring to your life should be discussed.

So let’s start with something pretty simple. What exactly is NFP and why do we practice it in our marriage? NFP is basically a way to follow your fertility. Often times women will chart signs and symptoms of their fertility so they are aware of the days they are fertile during their cycle. There are a lot of different methods that one can use but most will monitor things like fertile mucus and temperature. Once you become good at monitoring the signs your body gives you other signs become more noticeable too. It takes a couple cycles to figure it all out, but once you have it down it’s a very easy method to follow. Not only can it show you fertile days but it’s a great way of monitoring cycles that are troublesome. It’s a tool that a doctor can look at and determine why a cycle might be problematic. It’s a great way for a woman to be in control of her body--you always know what to expect and you immediately know if something is wrong. Plus, who doesn’t want to know how their body works? Why leave it up to a doctor who you see maybe once a year? Brian and I practice NFP partially because we are morally opposed to using artificial birth control of any sort, but an even bigger reason we use NFP is because it has made us even closer as husband and wife. Our sex life is something we discuss quite often. Not only do I know what’s going on with my body but Brian does too. It’s also something that has allowed us to better understand each other from the mental side of things. We all know that men have wild hormones and think about sex all the time--but did you know that women have those too? When a woman is in the fertile time of her cycle her hormones change to make her want sex even more too. What better way to understand each other than actually getting to feel what’s it’s like to refrain from sex during a time like this? I know for sure that I understand where Brian is coming from much better because I’ve physically and mentally been there too.

I could go on and on about NFP but it is a personal thing that every couple should experience together. I could tell you more about my personal experience but it’s always better to learn something yourself. Something that I encourage you to look into and educate yourself about. Don’t just blow if off because it might take some “work” from you. Below is a great article that gives many more reasons why NFP is such a powerful tool for women.

http://www.myfemininemind.com/2012/07/things-your-doctor-may-not-have-told_25.html



I welcome questions or comments about NFP. I’ll do my best to answer them, and if I can’t then I’ll find the answer or point you to someone who does know.

Glorify God, Especially During The Crazy Times

What a week it’s been so far! I was down with strep throat over the weekend. (yuck!) Then I attempted to clean up the house after a weekend of being down. As you can imagine, it was a bit wild. It seems to be taking me longer and longer to get “normal” things done around here too, so after a full day of work my house was still not back to normal, but it looked half way decent. I was so wiped out that I fell asleep early Monday night. I think if I could I’d crawl into bed about 7:00 each night and slowly drift to sleep.

Tuesday started off as a wonderful day. We attempted to go to a new play place, but it was super crowded so we opted to spend the day over at a friend’s house playing. It turned out working really well. The kids wore each other out and had a blast together. Tuesday night I took Eliza to dance and rushed off to Target. (I’ve been taking some mommy time each week while she’s at class--it’s been so nice!)

Do you ever have one of those feelings? I can’t really explain it, just a feeling that you know something isn’t right. I tend to get them when something has happened to one of my family members. It’s kinda weird and it’s like something or someone is trying to prepare me for the certain doom that lies ahead. Well, on my way back to pick Eliza up from dance I had one of those feelings. About 2 minutes later my phone rang--it was the dance studio. Eliza was “freaking” out because she split her chin open. Luckily, I was pulling into the parking lot as I hung the phone up. I rushed inside and poor Eliza was crying and had blood all over! Luckily, some sweet moms had taken charge and gotten her an ice pack and some paper towel to stop some of the bleeding. One mom even scooped Eliza up and carried her to the van for me. Off to the ER we went. We’ve been through this before, almost exactly a year ago Eliza split her chin the first time and had to get stitches. She knows the process and I tried my best to keep her distracted, but she knew what was coming. A couple hours later we walked out of the ER with a smiling little girl who had 4 stitches in her chin. It’s not fun seeing your child in pain, and it is really not fun having to help hold her down while she’s scared to death. Luckily, she was pretty tough and when it was all over she was just excited about the stickers and bubbles they gave her. What a day!

Today I’m attempting to recover from that craziness last night. I’m one worn out mom and Eliza was so worn out that she slept in until almost 10 this morning. I’m hoping that it will be a very uneventful day at home today.

My mom texted me as we drove Eliza to the hospital last night and said “look at it this way, at least you aren’t in labor!” I am very thankful for that. A split chin is nothing compared to a pre-mature baby. Actually, as I look back on last night I’m very thankful for a lot of things. I’m thankful for a tough little girl, I’m thankful for great friends who drop everything to watch Jackson for us in an emergency, I’m thankful for a husband that does a wonderful job of distracting, I’m thankful for good doctors and nurses (the nurses actually fought over who would have to hold Eliza down--no one wanted to do it b/c she was so sweet to them), I’m thankful for my husband’s job and being able to afford medical care, I’m thankful for “mom sense” and knowing that my little girl needed stitches, and I’m thankful that bribes still work to calm a 3 year old down. Sometimes in the hustle and bustle of a crazy situation it’s hard to be “thankful” for everything going on, but reflecting on the situation and thanking God over and over helps put it all in perspective. God has blessed us abundantly and it’s nights like last night that remind me to do my best each and every day to glorify Him in all that I do.

The Small Things

Listen to this first:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8gkDiTvloc&feature=related



I’m sure all of you have heard of the tragic shooting in Colorado by now. Last night a gunman opened fire in a movie theatre killing 12 people. There aren’t really words to express my emotions. That song really does help put some of the craziness of this world into perspective. There will come a day when we’re all with Jesus in heaven, it’s during the crazy times that we should remember that.

I think it’s really easy to see the hate and the evil in the world today. All you have to do is turn on the news and you hear a story of heartache. I’m no scholar or theologian, but I do know that our suffering should only bring us closer to God, it should help us appreciate to good times even more. Of course, that’s a lot easier said than done--especially while in the midst of suffering.

Sometimes when the outside world is going crazy I like to close myself down and surround myself with my little world. I try to find the joy in what I get to do every single day. Today my kids made it easy. We were out running errands and stopped to pick up lunch. I decided to be really crazy and let them eat some ice-cream before we got home to eat lunch. I got a small dish of vanilla and handed it to Eliza. She is big enough to feed herself in the car, but Jackson isn’t quite there yet. Eliza insisted on sharing with him though. Their seats are far enough apart that Eliza can’t spoon feed him, so instead she scooped some onto a spoon and then handed it to him to eat. He proceeded to eat the ice-cream and hand the spoon back to her. After taking a bite for herself she again scooped one for him, and this continued until the ice-cream was gone. This might seem like such a simple thing to the outsider, but let me assure you this was a little piece of God’s love on earth. Eliza is only 3--three year olds aren’t the best at sharing. Let’s be honest, most people aren’t very good at sharing. The love that my kids shared with one another by this simple act of ice-cream eating was truly a sign of God’s love right in front of my eyes.

God’s love truly does surround us each and every day. Sometimes it’s harder to see than other times--but it’s always there. Don’t forget to thank God for the small things.

Faith Check-Up

We’ve had a lot of check-ups around here lately. I have almost weekly check-ups for the pregnancy, Jackson just had a 6 month ENT follow up from his tubes surgery, he also has his 18 month check-up coming up, the van is due for an oil change and check-up (we say we’re taking the van to the car doctor when we go), our air conditioner had a check-up of it’s own too. It seems like everyone and everything around here has a check-up in the last couple months. I know we’re only going to have more check-ups once the baby is born.

All these check-ups really have me thinking. We have all sorts of “physical” check-ups throughout the year, but how often do we have a faith check-up. In the Catholic church I think an examination of your faith is usually done twice a year, once around Christmas and once around Easter. I think those times make good sense. I personally use these times to go to confession and just examine my state of mind when it comes to being a good Catholic. I think we could all re-examine our state of mind each week at mass--it’s great to start off the week fresh. However, that’s a lot easier said then done. Most Sunday’s I just try to make it through the marathon that is mass with my children.

So all this thinking about a faith check-up made me think to remind all of you to have a check-up of your own. Part of life is having ups and downs that we go through, sometimes by ourselves and other times with our family. The same is true of our faith lives. Sometimes our own personal faith journey is on a great path, but our spouse or our family may be struggling. Sometimes those around us seem to be flourishing in their faith life and we feel like we are really struggling. It really doesn’t matter where you are right now in your faith. None of us is even close to being perfect--that’s why we have God.

Take some time over the next week to examine your faith life. Maybe you need to go to confession because it’s been a while or maybe you simply need to do a better job of saying daily prayers. Whatever you need to make your faith stronger try and incorporate it into your daily routine the next week. Like everything else, once it becomes routine it will stick. Don’t forget that being physically and mentally well is very important, however being spiritually well is just as important and takes just as much work. Below is a short list of some ideas to help you “boost” your faith life.

- Read a spiritual book

-Go to confession

- Start a prayer journal (Write down all the intentions you have and bring the book out during morning and evening prayers)

- Start a gratitude journal (At the end of each day, write down what you’re thankful for)

- Re-connect with a spouse or family member through prayer

- Read the bible

- Read about a Saint that inspires you

- Go to daily mass

- Do a random act of kindness

There are so many ways to improve your faith health. The first step is always in the “doing”. Good Luck! I’ll be praying that everyone does a check-up and improves in some way.

No Pain, No Gain: A Quick Workout for All You Pregnant Momma's

Last week I wrote about all the fun aches and pains that accompany a pregnant woman during the 3^rd trimester. For some it seems like there is little relief no matter what you do. I think at times the baby just gets in a certain position and there’s not much you can do to get them out of it. However, one thing that seems to consistently help me is a good workout. I’m too far along to run anymore--between the huge belly and the contractions it gives me it’s really not worth it. But a good walk or a nice body-weight “lifting” routine always seems to help me. I don’t do long workouts--I try to keep them between 30 and 40 minutes and even after I’ve done a great workout and feel great sometimes later that day or evening I’ll start feeling a bit yucky again. Those are the days I throw in some yoga, 10 or 15 minutes, and it usually helps too.

Below is one workout that I really love. It’s simple, and anyone can do it at home. It usually takes me about 35 minutes to complete. All the exercises are able to be modified too. This is the workout I will start with after delivery too--once I am cleared to start working out again. So even if you’re not pregnant, it’s a great workout!

Warm-Up: 5 minutes

I usually put on some great music and march in place, shuffle, do some kicks, arm rolls, arm swings, etc. to get my body all warmed up. I’m in a nice light sweat by the end of the warm-up.

Push-Ups: 15-20

Right now I do push ups at an angle. I push off of a coffee table so I’m not flat off the ground. You can also do wall push-ups, knee push-ups, regular push-ups, or another variation that works for you. The great thing about pregnancy is even if you continue to do the same type of push up it gets harder as you gain weight. By the end it’s like you are doing 35 extra pounds of push ups.

Lunges: 30

There’s not really a cheat for these. I guess you could go down a little less than normal, but I think these are pretty doable the entire pregnancy. Just make sure you are using proper form, keep your knee from going over your ankle and you’ll be fine.

Pull-Ups: 25

There are tons of variations for these as well. In the beginning of pregnancy I was still doing normal old pull ups. You can also do chair assisted with one or two legs. I am at the resistant band level now though. I tie a resistant band to my bar--fairly tightly, sit on the ground feet flat on the floor, and pull almost like a rowing machine (but obviously the angle is a bit different) the key here is to keep your arms spread while pulling and while straightening back up.

Squats: 25

Tons of variations here too. You can use weights in the beginning and phase off to no weights by the 3^rd trimester if you need to. If you are pregnant I think it’s very important to have a chair or a couch behind you, in case you lose your balance. (I’ve done it!) Right now I do 25 slow squats, I go as low as I can on the bend and I do it in front of my couch in case I fall backwards. These start to burn by the end--if they don’t you aren’t going slow enough.

Dumbbell Dead lift and upright row:20

These are a bit complicated to explain. I use very light weights with this lift. You can vary it based on how far along you are--but I wouldn’t do more than 10 lbs in each arm unless you aren’t pregnant. For this lift stand with your legs shoulder width apart with the weights at either side, keep your legs straight bend at the waist and touch your toes, then stand back up. This is a lift for your hamstrings, so that’s where you should feel it. As you stand back up bring the weights up to your chin so that your elbows are pointing out, drop the weights back to your sides and begin again.

Triceps Extension: 20 on each side

I use light weights for this exercise too. Again you can vary it based on where you are in pregnancy. There are multiple ways to do this lift as well. The way I do it is to stand with one foot about a stride in front of the other, bend over at the waist about 90 degrees with a weight in both hands. The arm that I am working gets pulled straight behind me (almost like starting a lawn mower) and back down again, the other arm hangs dead with the weight in it then switch feet and arms.

I repeat this routine twice.

Cool Down: 5 minutes

Just an easy march in place and stretch to cool your body down. Make sure you drink a bunch of water too.

**If you have any questions e-mail or message me and I can help you out personally.

A Dose of Reality

Reality. It’s a funny thing if you think about it. You’d think that just based on the definition of the word reality would be one set thing--it’s either real or it’s fake. However, reality is just a bit different for everyone--or at least one could argue that it’s a bit different. For instance, the shirt that my husband wore to work today looked teal to me, but I wonder if it’s the same teal to me as it is to one of his co-workers. Puzzling. I didn’t begin this post to discuss how colors look different to everyone, what’s really on my mind is the reality of pregnancy and motherhood. (I can’t help it--pregnancy is on my brain, it’s kinda impossible for it not to be)

I think back to 5 years ago, right after Brian and I were married and the possibility of children was very real, and I laugh out loud. That was such a naïve person. She would wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and think about this perfect future. You know what I’m talking about. The perfect pregnancy, no aches and pains, the perfect amount of weight gain, absolutely no stretch marks, happy as can be, adorable in all those pregnancy clothes. You’re laughing out loud with me now right? Well the reality in my head was quickly shattered--my first pregnancy was FAR from ideal. Not only was it a bit of a surprise, but I was puking every day, and it ended in a miscarriage at 14 weeks. Pop! That bubble that I had made in my head was long gone.

However, even after the miscarriage I still had this idea in my head of the perfect pregnancy. Don’t worry, that was shattered quickly too. When I was pregnant with Eliza I was plagued with it all. I had acne, puking, aches and pains, tiredness, plus I got huge. I thought I was looking so cute, then I saw pictures of myself at my baby shower--woah! It’s funny how when you’re pregnant everyone always says “oh, you look great!” I guess it’s a triggered response, I mean what would happen if you were brutally honest? I could see someone getting their head bitten off. I think the bubble was shattered for good around week 32 when I spotted my first stretch mark. My poor husband. I think I screamed at the top of my lungs--and as he came rushing in the room (probably thinking I was in labor or something) I was pointing in horror at this tiny mark. They multiplied like the plague from that day on. ( I should have appreciated that bikini body when I had it)

Then comes the wonderful child raising. I’m sure they tried to warn me. I remember many times my mother saying “Oh I just can’t wait until you have children.” I think I understand that so much better now--and I haven’t even raised a teenager yet. For some reason when you’re holding that beautiful baby in your arms you think life couldn’t get any better. (If only they stayed that sweet and peaceful!) Instead the reality of it is that they throw tantrums, they have mini and mega freak outs, they are more stubborn then you can imagine, they have their own little personality, and they rely completely on you. It’s the most wonderfully frightening thing in the world!

I’ve become a much less judgmental person since I became a mother. I knew it all before I had kids--all you had to do is ask. (sometimes you didn’t even need to ask, because I’d let you know anyway) I’d like to argue that it wasn’t all my fault though, my sense of reality was skewed--as is a lot of peoples.

The other day we went to an indoor play place. I could barely walk because my back and groin hurt so bad from this child I’m growing. I was in a full sweat before we even got in the door. Eliza basically ran into the door while I was opening it. Jackson took off right as his feet hit the floor. He had purple socks on--because I just grabbed two pair as we walked out the door at home. Eliza just HAD to put her socks on herself--5 minutes later she finally let me assist her. When it was time to go I had chased Jackson down, tucked him under one arm like a bushel of potatoes and very gracefully wrestled with Eliza to get her shoes on--threatening her under my breath the whole time. I quickly brushed my hair out of my eyes, wiped the sweat that was pouring down my brow and proceeded to get the kids in the car.

Go ahead, laugh. It was probably a hilarious sight--I laugh thinking about it. That’s my reality. It’s not this picture perfect life that I had imagined up in my head 5 years ago, it’s just reality. At the end of the day, when I try to get comfortable enough to go to sleep at night, I thank God for every second of it. Even at the end of my real days I realize that all the craziness is one big blessing. My life would be pretty boring if it was how I imagined it would be 5 years ago. Instead I thrive in the madness--it’s the only way I’m going to survive. Children, or what I like to call little doses of reality keep life exciting.

What's All This Pain For Anyway?

A few weeks back I wrote a post all about mom’s being superheroes. I’m not taking back what I said by any means, however these past few days have me wondering if I’ll ever get those super powers back.

There are two times during pregnancy that I am usually in tears and on my knees begging God for a little break. (Check that--I can’t even get on my knees to beg right now.) During the first trimester when I feel like I’ve been throwing up for weeks and weeks and I don’t know if I can take one more episode and during the third trimester when my body is so sore just from walking around are times I usually feel pretty sorry for myself. (Usually I think I deserve every bit of the pain, b/c when I was in utero I gave my mom a hell of a time) I have officially hit that 3^rd trimester part. All you mom’s out there probably have some clue what I’m talking about. The lovely 4 to 5 times up at night having to pee and it taking minutes to even walk to the bathroom. The rolling over in bed--it’s probably pretty comical to watch. I usually add in my own little grunts along the way, I don’t know why though because they usually don’t help me roll any faster or any easier. Waking up in the morning--ugh. Your body is sore just from laying, I swear it takes 5 minutes just for all the blood to flow where it needs to and then you have to “pop” right up to get to the screaming kids. Then you have your wonderful mom job during the day. For me chasing an 18 month old and a 3 year old leaves me in a sweat multiple times a day. Sometimes I just have to stop and laugh, because it’s like one of those giant turtles chasing a playful puppy--never gonna catch up and probably fall over that big shell of theirs along the way.

But really who doesn’t love pregnancy?

In all seriousness I wouldn’t trade the pain for anything. It’s a good reminder of how blessed I am. Plus, it’s not so bad that I won’t do it all over again. Not to mention I can vent to all you wonderful people, which helps me get through the day too. In the end, I’ll be holding my little baby boy and the pain will all be forgotten. When I’m really having a bad day I just think about all those women who are worse off than me, because there are a lot of them--either in more physical pain, or in more emotional pain from not being able to become pregnant. My pain is just another form of a blessing that God has given me to remind me that my pain is really for something much more important than me.

In A Nutshell

Vacation was a wonderful week spent relaxing and catching up with family. Drama, irritations, blow-ups, hurt feelings, and fighting were some of the negatives that accompanied us during the week. I think it’s impossible to avoid such things when you lock 18 people up in a house all week together. Even if you include a beautiful beach and all sorts of activities to keep people busy. It’s inevitable that the people you love the most in life are also the people that will drive you the craziest. (I’d say drive you to drink, but that’s not possible in my current state)

Although the week had it’s negatives, I don’t really remember them much. I think that’s saying a lot coming from a hormonal pregnant woman. What I remember are the fun times. I haven’t laughed so hard or so much in a long time. I haven’t felt so genuinely comfortable just being myself in a very long time. Although I’m probably the easiest to get irritated over the littlest things, that didn’t come close to stopping me from enjoying everyone’s company.

At the end of the week, I felt so proud to be a part of something so wonderful. We might be a large and crazy and sometimes irrational group of people but we are a great big, loving, family above all. When it’s all said and done we all love each other--and that’s all that really matters.

Honestly, I’m too darn tired and still recovering from the travel that I can’t analyze it any further than that. Being a part of such a large family is a unique and special thing that I’d never change--and family vacation is kinda like pregnancy: it has it’s crappy parts but they aren’t crappy enough to keep you from doing it all over again.

Thanks to all of my family for being so screwed up, it makes life that much more fun! Thanks mom and dad for planning these huge vacations. Thanks to all my siblings for taking time out of your life to make the trip. Thanks to my husband for working so hard to make it possible that we can join in the craziness. Living across the country from everyone really makes me appreciate the trip even more. Most of all thank you God for helping us all survive!!