I am a control freak. How did I not notice this before now? I guess I was so busy that I didn’t have time to think that I am one of “those” people. The people that everyone wants to yell at saying “just relax, let it go, there’s nothing you can do about it”. Seriously, there’s nothing I can do about it? Nothing?
Unfortunately, I am learning that there is nothing I can do about a lot of things. Part of me thinks if I could control everyone and everything around me this world would be such a good place and then there’s the other part of me (the part that I should just listen to) that knows God is in control and he has a purpose behind everything and more times than not I’m not going to understand that purpose.
What is it about being in control that makes me think life would be “easier”? It’s not necessarily that I want life to be easier, it’s more about being prepared. I’m sure you’ve all heard the old saying “By failing to prepare, you’re preparing to fail.” I’m not good with failure(really who likes to fail??) so that control freak side of my brain tries to convince me that by being prepared I won’t fail.
So what do you do in your life when something happens that you can’t prepare for or do anything about? No, seriously--I’m asking you. I know all the common sense answers, pray, let it go, give it to God, etc.. Ok, then what?
Let me give you a bit of background without going into too many details. Someone very near and dear to my heart is making some very bad decisions, however, this person is thrilled with those decisions. This person doesn’t listen to common sense and when faced with a confrontational situation just pretends like it isn’t going on. Now the situation has grown even worse and if poor decisions before didn’t change their life, poor decisions now are going to.
Control.
How about this situation. The future. Enough said? All you planners out there have to sympathize with me on this one. I can have my future all planned out in my head, but not really. I only have control of a select few things that happen, everything else is left up to God. Leave it up to God…that should be enough, right?
Control.
And then we have what my life revolves around-- my kids. I can control a lot of what happens to them and what goes on in their lives. Yet, there are still things I can’t control, like sickness. Eliza was diagnosed with pneumonia today. I know this isn’t the end of the world, but I’d love to control the situation and all I am doing is listening to her cough harder and harder. All you moms know, if we could take the pain from our kids we wouldn’t hesitate--give it hear God.
Control.
I discuss working out a lot in my blogs. It’s not only because I love to do it. Today as I was working out I realized that a big part of it is control. I have complete control over what I do while I’m working out. My mind totally clears of all the uncontrollable things and I have a short time of freedom. I’d love to feel that free all day every day.
Luckily, as I grow up I continue to learn that our perspective on situations changes every day. As we get older we look at situations differently. Maybe that’s what I need to do--get a little older. I guess for now that’s all I can do, unless God sends me a magic wand sometime soon my lack of control is going to be just that--lacking.
Don’t forget to count your blessings--especially the small ones!! J
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