Big News...

It’s amazing how excitement and joy can turn into paralyzing fear in mere moments. A paralyzing fear that can last until that excitement and joy return.

Brian and I are happy to announce that we are expecting our 4^th baby in September!!!!

We would have liked to share our news earlier, but there have been some scary complications that we’ve been dealing with. I went in for a dating ultra-sound around 10 weeks and we found out that the baby was perfectly healthy, but there was a large blood clot floating in there as well. I hadn’t had any bleeding or cramps or anything that would suggest this and the doctor was a little surprised at that. He explained that the risk of miscarriage went up and that all I could do was take it easy and pray. Not the thing you want to hear as an expecting mother, especially one that wants to be as controlling as me.


Ever since I lost Emily pregnancies have been a time of joyful nervousness. When I lost Emily I had this gut feeling that something was wrong. With Eliza and Jackson I did everything I could to make sure they would make it. I took hormones at the beginning of pregnancy, tried to eat well, took prenatal vitamins, and even enjoyed throwing up. (B/C it meant that things were going well, according to the doctor)


This pregnancy is much the same. I’ve been puking my guts out for weeks now, and just when I thought it was over it started back up at the beginning of this week. I know it’s just God’s way of reassuring me, but it’s really not fun! We went in for a high-tech ultra sound yesterday, and knowing how nervous I was (maybe b/c I was shaking on the table) the tech checked the baby and the heartbeat first--everything looked great. Not only did the baby look great but the blood clot was almost non-existent!! We could not have received better news. Prayers truly were answered. Praise God!!!!


My excitement and joy returned almost instantly. Brian commented that I was truly smiling for the first time in 3 weeks. Even as I was hanging my head over the toilet last night all I could think was “thank you God for this precious angel you have blessed us with”.


It’s funny the thoughts that you have at the beginning of pregnancy. I think if you’ve lost a child the thoughts are a little different. But even those of us that have lost a child have those thoughts of doubt and fear about what’s to come and what will be when this child is here with us. Then later when you hear you might lose this child, you think to yourself “how could I think about this in a negative way at all”.


I look at pregnancy as this long journey that has the most rewarding ending. I feel so blessed to be on this journey again. Hopefully, from here on out I will do a better job of keeping my blog updated. J


Thank you for all the prayers!! We couldn’t be more excited about our 4^th child that will be joining us in September.