Sometimes Life’s Just Shitty

So I could start this post out by saying we had a GREAT time at home, it was so nice to see family, blah, blah, blah. However, I was informed at home that I should “tell it like it is” more. For family to say that to me is something, because I never have a hard time “telling it like it is”. So instead of being all positive and optimistic and happy-go-lucky like some of these posts are, today is like it is.

DRAMA. That pretty much describes our trip back home this weekend. Don’t get me wrong, in my eyes any time with family is wonderful, and I truly did enjoy visiting and catching up with everyone. Eliza and Jackson thoroughly enjoyed spending time with cousins, aunts and uncles, and especially their grandparents. It’s kind of like a holiday for them and everyone is always excited to see them, so they just go go go the whole time we’re home.

As for the DRAMA…where do I begin? This drama is not the petty little drama that goes on between siblings or that look that mom gave you for the comment you shouldn’t have made. This drama is the kind of drama that one hopes never happens in their life and we had our fill of it this weekend. I don’t want to go into too much detail because there are a lot of people who are involved and I want to try to respect privacy as much as possible, but I’ll try to sum it up. We have one family member that is a drug addict that has relapsed yet again and is basically on the run right now. Another family member decided to turn their back on God, get pregnant out of wedlock, get married without telling a soul, and is now maybe starting to figure some things out, maybe. Then there is the relationship drama. If only we could all get married and live happily ever after with no craziness in the middle, life would be wonderful. (Maybe that’s why there is so much singing in those Disney movies, they don’t have any real drama to deal with so they have to do something else instead) And that was just some of the fun we got to have this weekend.

It would be so nice if I could put my “Mrs. Fix-it hat” (this is a reference to Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus…great book) on and just give everyone an answer. I used to believe life was so black and white. It didn’t make sense to me how people didn’t just choose the right way and do that. Now I get it. It’s that perspective crap jumping back up and biting me in the ass. There aren’t always quick fixes, sometimes there aren’t fixes at all. For control freaks like me and for someone that just wants to see her family happy and loving life it’s hard to be around the drama when you can’t fix it. Not only that I can’t stand to see family in pain, and there is a whole lot of that right now. I know it’s part of life, but sometimes I wish I could take all the pain from everyone.

As for my own personal drama. We drove 24 hours over the weekend on our trip to and from Indiana. The kids were pretty good and we only had one or two total episodes of “oh my gosh I want to shoot myself in the head”. However the first day in Indiana included Jackson having a high fever for about 24 hours and Eliza pooping about 24 times. Ok, so it wasn’t 24, but it was probably at least 10 (I’m not exaggerating!!). And it wasn’t your little girl poop, it was massive amounts of poop and I have no idea where it all came from. It had everyone running the opposite direction. So that was fun.

On the flip-side the return trip always takes a bit longer, but we actually made pretty good time yesterday. Just as I thought we were getting back to normalcy (haha!!) my baby nausea started up again. So pulling into the driveway turned into me sprinting inside to the toilet to puke my guts out (it’s the only running I’ve been doing lately, maybe I should be thankful?).

Oh wait--it gets better. While puking my guts out I proceed to pee all over myself (because I’d been holding it in the car until we got home). That’s the 2^nd time this pregnancy that I’ve had this joyful experience. I plopped myself on my bed (after cleaning up and changing) turned on some mind-numbing TV and fell asleep as fast as I could.

So that’s that. Today I’m counting my little blessings of a dirty house and a million chores to get done after the long weekend. At least I can let my kids play in the beautiful weather outside and get the craziness out by cleaning everything. But let’s be honest sh*t will be everywhere yet again tomorrow.