The Marriage Comes First

Being a mom of two young children means that I am in demand pretty much all the time. It seems like when I sit down and think I need just ten minutes of quiet time the baby starts crying. Those evenings when I wish the kids would go to bed just a bit early are inevitably the nights that I am up 4 times. It’s not just me who is in demand though. Brian gets bombarded with requests from the moment he walks in the door. “Daddy come play in my room with me.” A very common phrase out of Eliza’s mouth is “Mommy, stop talking to daddy about his day I have something to say.”


It would be easy to let our children run the household, and I don’t mean that in the “let them go wild” sense. I mean it would be easy to let them guide our every conversation and our every activity. There are certainly those days where by the time our heads hit the pillows Brian and I have only spoken a few short sentences to each other, and then we’re usually too tired to talk much about “us”. However, I was given some great advice when Eliza was born. Someone told me to always make time for those date nights and for husband and wife time. As a young naïve mother I, of course, thought I had it all figured out and didn’t need those “date nights”. My romantic husband (cough, cough) would tell people we had a date every night after the kids go to bed.


I get it now though. We have to make time for our marriage and OUR relationship. That “date night” is just as important as the time we spend with our children. It is not a selfish thing to go out and enjoy my husbands company every once in a while. In fact, it’s the opposite of selfish, it’s necessary for our family to function at it’s best!

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church- for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.

~Ephesians 5: 22-33

If our marriage struggles then our family struggles. Brian and I are responsible for showing our children what a marriage is at it’s core. We are responsible for showing them how to love and how to care. The greatest example of love in the bible, other than Jesus Christ giving his life for ours, was the example of marriage that Mary and Joseph had. How blessed we would all be if our marriage could even somewhat resemble that amazing marriage.


So, as the weekend draws near remember to take some time for your spouse. If you aren’t able to make it out for a date this weekend then take a mini-date in your bedroom after the kids are in bed. Re-connect if you need to. Try sacrificing just one time this weekend for your spouse. That might mean giving them a back rub when you’re exhausted or that might mean letting them sleep in a little extra. (notice mine all have to do with sleep…haha) Whatever it is that you do--do it with your whole heart, just as Christ would do.

Remember to count your blessings--especially the little ones!! :)