Guilt

So I had this post that I’ve been working on for a couple days--”12 Things I didn’t Think I’d Be Thankful For in 2012”, but I didn’t have time to finish it last night and I have another topic on my brain today, so just roll with me.

Guilt.

I’ve become very aware that the longer I’m a mom the more things there are to feel guilty about. I think it’s because I want to be the best mom I possibly can be, but maybe I’m just more guilt prone than other moms out there. Whatever the case-- I’m sure I’m not the only one.

But really, what’s with the gobs of things moms should feel guilty about these days?

Let’s take a simple example. Eliza goes to preschool 3 days a week. She is in class for a mere 2 ½ hours each of those days. Yet there is always something that I need to volunteer for or something that I need to help out with. Always. Now the fact that I have 2 other small children at home with me all day doesn’t seem to curve my guilty feeling. She doesn’t even have homework yet! I simply feel guilty for not being able to help during the school day or not being able to come help out at some activity during one of those “fun” days.

Then there’s the clean house guilt. I really try not to care about my house being messy. Really I do. However, if you’re anything like me you have those thoughts in the back of your head-- what happens if someone random just stops by and if I trip over one more toy I might scream. I also hate the thought of my husband coming home to a messy house after a hard day of work. (Even though he probably doesn’t care at all)

How about the I’m still fat from that baby I had x number of months ago guilt. Yeah yeah I know it takes time to get back into shape. That doesn’t stop those thoughts from creeping into my head. Taking a day off from working out is perhaps one of the guiltiest feelings I have. I’m sure other women have the same thoughts. You just have those days when you look in the mirror and think seriously what is all this hard work I’m doing for anyway.

The everyday things are a mile long. Have the kids dressed, and not just dressed but looking cute, get all the housework done, play with the kids, work out, make breakfast, lunch and dinner, make sure the laundry is done, read to the kids, run the errands, feed the baby every 3 hours, play with the kids some more, take care of the yard, pray, catch up with friends, catch up with family, take a couple minutes for yourself, pray, and look good while doing all of it. That’s if it’s a normal day. I think I can count on one hand how many “normal” days I’ve had while I’ve been a mom.

Guilt.

I haven’t even touched on the parenting side of mothering. We’re expected to have our children well disciplined, well fed, well groomed, well rounded, and well educated all while we set a good example of how to live. Heaven forbid they act out in public or in front of our friends or family.

How about the spiritual side of a child? We need to teach them how to pray, how to act with grace, how to behave in church, how to be Christ-like, how to be a good Christian example for the world, how to love, and how to stand up for your beliefs.

More guilt.

I could probably go on for pages about all the guilt we moms can feel on a daily basis. I wish I could give you a solution for not feeling that guilt. However, I think it’s probably a necessary evil. If you didn’t feel guilt I might worry about you. Feeling guilty means that you know you can do better. In motherhood as in life I think we are never finished growing. There is no such thing as the perfect mother out there nor will there ever be. Guilt is just part of being human.

I CAN say give yourself a break. Although some days it feels like we are supposed to do it all and be everything for each of our kids--this is real life. As long as you can lay your head on the pillow at night and tell yourself that you did the best you could, then you can ignore those guilty feelings. God does not call us to be everything for our kids. God calls us to do the best we can.

So if you see me out in public and my hair is a mess, one kid has marker on his face, the other is in mis-matched clothes, and the baby is screaming, just cut me a break-- I’m probably already feeling guilty about all of that and more. And if I see you in the middle of your child throwing a tantrum and you losing your temper I’ll give you the knowing smile and nod of the head. Then I’ll say a quick prayer for you and turn around to chase my own child down, since inevitably she has wandered down yet another aisle without me.

The Greatest Present

So I had this great 12 things I’m thankful for post all ready to go for today--but I haven’t had time to finish it. I’m hoping to work on it later tonight and post it tomorrow. J

Today is going to have to be a quick post instead.

Today I just want to remind everyone to take time to enjoy your children. In the hustle and bustle that is the holiday season I think it’s so easy to overlook the greatest present we can give our children--time.

 I don’t know about you, but I can tell an immediate change in my kids' attitudes when I spend even 5 minutes playing with them. Sure it’s easier to flip on a cartoon and have them sit in front of the TV while I’m getting one of the million things crossed off of my “to do” list, but it really is priceless to spend time with them while they are little.

I read a sign the other day that said “please excuse the mess, we live here.” What a great message. The most fun times I have with my kids are those times where I look up after 30 minutes and there is a gigantic mess in every room. Oh well. I can clean it up after they go to bed. While they are awake I’m going to take time to play and enjoy their company. I hope that you take some time for your kids on these cold winter days. You just might be pleasantly surprised at something they say or do.

Part 3 of 3

http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2012/12/7252/

Hopefully, later this week we'll get back to some posts to me.  :)

Part 2 of 3

Part 2 of 3


http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2012/12/7250/

Part 1 of 3

I've written often about my view of the family and marriage. Usually I just write from my view point and I don't include a lot of facts to back up my assertations. However, I came across a wonderful 3 part article series that I wanted to share. Considering that I haven't had much time to write blog posts I thought these would be wonderful while I'm catching up. :)

Part 1

http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2012/12/7248/

I'll put part 2 up tomorrow.

The Fight

So, I had this long post all prepared for the day before “the big election”. However, I just got done reading and eating Nilla wafers with Jackson, and all the rhetoric seemed kind of trivial. Playing with my little boy reminded me what life is all about. It’s not about being Republican or Democrat. It’s not about who wins the power tomorrow.

This wonderful, amazing, blessed life is about glorifying God each and every day.

I am a mom. I am pro-life. I am pro-religious freedom. I am pro-family.

Tomorrow I will vote so that my voice does not get over-looked. I will vote in the hopes of electing individuals I believe will bring goodness into office. I will vote because it’s the right thing to do.

I hope you will join me.

Please continue to pray for our elected officials, our God given rights, our families, and our future.

Remember to never stop fighting for what’s right.

　

You Wanna Judge Me?

As I was debating whether or not to finish up laundry or get a work out and shower in before the kids got up from their naps today I started to realize why so many moms are fat. That’s probably not a very nice way to put it at all. What I guess I really mean is-- why are there so many moms out there that don’t take care of themselves?

We’ve all been told to take that time out for ourselves. (I believe that is essential to survival at this point.) We’ve all been told to put ourselves first once in a while. We’ve even all been told that by us being healthy our children will not only learn to be healthy, but will have us around longer as well. Then why is it so darn hard?

It’s hard because we are mom’s. We aren’t used to leaving something until later. We look at our house as our office, and the saying that a cluttered office makes for a cluttered mind is just as true as a cluttered house. We simply DO NOT have enough time in a day to get it all done. And I’m here to tell you that at this point I don’t care. For once in my life I’m giving in--it’s not all going to get done. Sorry.

Wait, why am I apologizing to you? I’m really the only one that cares about ALL of it.

But let’s face it--we’re each others biggest critics. It’s so easy to make judgments about other moms--even when we’ve been there. We are all human and we really do strive to be better than those around us. It’s time we stop trying to be better and start being on each others side. It’s a little easier said than done. Really think about it. If you went to a friends house for a play date and it was a disaster--you’d judge. If you went out to lunch with a friend and she looked like crap--you’d judge. If a friend’s kid was a hot mess and a brat while you were around--you’d judge.

Well mommas, judge me or don’t judge me but I’m giving up. Today I decided to work out instead of finish laundry. I took my kids to a play place this morning and our suitcases are still not unpacked from visiting family in Indiana over the weekend. After my kiddos went to bed last night I snuck 4 (that’s right 4) pieces of candy out of their bags.

I guess sometimes something just has to give. Maybe once I catch back up with my life I can do it ALL again, but for now I’m ok with only doing some of it--just give me a 15 minute heads up before dropping by so I can make sure the disaster that is my house isn’t TOO disgusting. And if you run into me somewhere and I look a little disheveled it’s probably because I have 3 small children and that’s just what happens. And now I’m going to go sneak another piece of candy from a Halloween basket, because I love candy, and I can take my time and enjoy the candy because all the kids are asleep. J