Going Home

Exotic vacations, wild road trips, wine tasting tour, and hanging out at the lake all weekend are just a few of the things people will be doing this Memorial Day weekend. It’s the official start of summer. Everyone looks forward to a little rest and relaxation. I look forward to going home.

Going home is something I look forward to from the moment I return to Oklahoma to the next time I get to travel the 13 hours to Zionsville. There is nothing more comforting in the world than being around all the people you love the most. Home seems like such a simple word with such a simple meaning, but really there’s no other word that makes my stomach jump, gives me thoughts of the past, and gives me that excited kid on Christmas morning feeling.

As I thought about writing this post I began to realize that not everyone looks forward to trips home the way I do. In fact, I think a lot of people don’t enjoy being around family or home at all. It really makes me sad to think about those people. I wish everyone could come visit my wild family for a weekend just to see what my excitement is all about.

I love the late night conversations, the random coffee shop trips with mom, the outdoor fun with dad, the picking on younger siblings, the laughter, and the food just to name a few. As I’ve grown up going home has come to mean even more though. Bringing my own children back to the place where Brian and I grew up is wonderful. Sitting on the porch with our parents watching our kids play in the same backyards that we used to play in all summer long brings such joy to my heart. I can’t wait until they are old enough for us to tell them our old glory stories from sports in the past. I think the joy that I feel when my entire family is together is just a little piece of what my parents must feel too.

We have a huge family and it’s growing more every day. By the end of the summer we’ll have two new kids in the mix. However, we all get a sort of empty feeling if just one person is missing from the fun. This weekend everyone will be home. We all get to spend time together and just being with all my siblings, parents, nieces, and nephews is what I’m looking forward to the most. Time at home. What a wonderful way to start summer!

Blessings to everyone this Memorial Day weekend--travel safe, have fun, eat a lot, and give thanks to God for all of it!

　

Growing Up

Today I looked around at my kids and realized that they are quickly growing up. This is kind of a bitter-sweet thing in my eyes.

Eliza has started to really act like a 3 year old. She is drawing “real” pictures, helping with household chores, cooking, and continues to ask a million questions a day. Jackson understands pretty much everything I say. He’s not able to totally communicate back, but he does his best. He’s turning into a little boy. Today he went over and sat down in front of the couch and “asked” for cartoons. It was pretty darn cute.

As this little guy in my womb continues to get bigger and bigger I keep thinking that in just a few months everything is going to be so different. It seems like just yesterday we were bringing Eliza home from the hospital and starting this wild journey. Now we are gearing up to bring our 3^rd home!

I’m so thankful for this summer. Not because of the crazy heat, but because I feel like it’s a couple of months of time for me and the kids to just be. We’re wrapping up a part of our lives and will begin another chapter just at the end of summer. This little guy is due to be born right after Labor Day, so from Memorial Day to Labor Day I’m really looking forward to spending time with Eliza and Jackson. I can’t imagine how much more they will both grow….I guess I’ll be growing too. I’m ready to be a mom of 3, but for now I’m just going to appreciate the 2 I have to play with every day.

What Drives You?

Since the complications that I had in early pregnancy have all been gone for a few weeks I feel like I have finally gotten back into a great routine. I am 25 weeks pregnant and I’ve been able to workout like normal for about 5 weeks. It’s amazing how great I’ve been feeling. I occasionally overdo it--it’s kinda hard not to with two little ones at home, but overall I think I’ve found a great balance.

As I sat talking to my doctor at my check-up today he told me I looked wonderful and to keep up whatever I was doing. I exclaimed that I had gained a whopping 5 lbs. last week, and wondered if I should be worried. He pretty much laughed in my face. As he looked at my chart and back to me, he said “I wish all my patients could be as healthy as you. You barely gained a pound early in pregnancy so you’re just making up for it. No worries.” I should have known, it’s not like this is my first go around. However, it got me thinking about what drives people. Pregnant or not, what is it that makes people do what they do?

It seems simple to me, I feel wonderful when I’m eating well and working out. So when I’m pregnant or when I’m breastfeeding or when I’m neither I’m going to eat well and work out. I know it’s not that easy for everyone though. So what is it that drives you? Maybe it’s all about how you look. Maybe it’s being able to “brag” to those around you about how much weight you’ve lost or what size you fit into. Maybe it’s about that feeling you have after a good workout. Whatever it is--try to hold onto that feeling.

I’m a firm believer that motivation has to come from within. It’s great to have outside sources push you a bit, but when it’s all said and done it has to come from within or it won’t last. I’m urging you all to look inside yourselves and figure out what that “thing” is that motivates you. This might be easier said than done, but trust me--it’s so worth it. We don’t have control over much in this world, but taking care of ourselves is one thing that we have complete control over. So whether you are 21 or 91 find your drive and keep at it. You deserve to live the best life possible.

Side note: I’m always here to help. So if you’re stuck in a rut and need some advice, send me a message. I’d love to help. J

Love Like Crazy

Sometimes you have those crazy days like Wednesday (see post below) that make you want to not only pull your hair out but seriously question if you’ll make it when another baby arrives. Then you have days like today that remind you to keep going--you’re really not doing too bad of a job raising these children. I think we’d all prefer the calm sweet days when you catch your 3 year old and 16 month old cuddling on the couch. (Eliza actually cuddled Jackson to sleep!) We’d all prefer going to the grocery store for a quick trip and it actually be a quick trip with happy kids. Luckily, it seems that most days are like today. (Thank God!)

These days don’t just happen by accident though. I’ve posted a lot about how crazy my kids can be and how 10 seconds of quiet means big trouble, but I haven’t posted very much on the active parenting that takes place to make the good days good.. Let’s be honest, it’s much funnier to read about the crazy times! Plus, it’s sort of therapeutic for me to “let it all out”.

How do good kids become good kids?

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over my lifetime it’s that sometimes it doesn’t matter what a parent does, kids sometimes turn out nothing like you thought they would. My brothers and sisters are a perfect example of how much a person’s personality affects the outcome of their childhood. There are 8 children and 3 of us are grown, married, successful, with children of our own. One of my sisters just graduated from college and will be starting graduate school in the fall, but it wasn’t long ago that we all thought she was, quite literally, crazy. One of my sisters got pregnant out of wedlock, had a “secret” marriage, and is just now starting to figure it all out. One of my brothers believes he is in the “in crowd” in high school which entails breaking rules and pushing the limits. Then the two youngest, one brother and one sister are still at home, in school, and still growing up. Hopefully, they will take the straight and narrow path instead of veering off. We all have the same parents. We were all raised with mostly the same rules and expectations. Us older siblings often complain that the younger kids have it way easier--but I think that’s just how it goes in larger families. We need something to complain about.

So how did some of us “follow the rules” and currently have happy families of our own and some of us veer a bit? I wish I could answer that. I don’t know if anyone could analyze our family and figure it all out. The only thing I know for sure is that we all have our own personalities complete with free will. I think personality coupled with free will is what makes parenting so darn hard. Don’t get me wrong--these are not excuses for bad parenting. They are simply little gifts that slowly unwrap during a child’s rearing.

As parents we must be active. We must not give up on a tough child. If they do something wrong 100 times then we must correct them 100 times. That’s true if they are 2, 12, or 22. Parenting is not a passive job. Sometimes it sucks to be a parent. Some days when you’ve spanked or corrected a child 1,000 times you just want to give up and hope they’ll get it. Don’t give up. Even the best parents make mistakes. As long as you are loving your child each and every day and make decisions based off of that love first, then you are doing it right. (Even if others don’t necessarily agree) The love that a parent has for a child is one of the strongest loves on Earth. I believe God designed it that way on purpose. We have to love our kids enough to discipline them for the world. When they fight, we have to fight harder.

Love is what has gotten my family through some of the tough times. My parents have been the first example of that love. When the rest of us wanted to give up on a sibling or beat the crap out of them it was our parents who led by example. Their example was always leading by love. (It wasn’t always the mush gushy love either, a lot of times it was the tough love.) Sometimes it took years for that love to be recognized and accepted, but that didn’t stop them. They always did what they thought was most loving and best for the situation. Love leads our family. Love is active just like parenting.

Sometimes I think about how God looks at all of His children. I wonder if He ever wants to take away that pesky free will that I so often wish I could take away. Then I remember that it is our free will to love Him that makes this life so worth living. Just like it’s our free will to love our children or parents. How we show that love is often what defines us. Among all the crazy people and all the sins in this world God’s love will always reign. That must give us hope. Let’s look to His parenting example of love to lead us with our own children. “Never let your praying knees get lazy, and love like crazy!”

Insanity Makes Sane Moments Better

It’s Wednesday. Our usual routine on Wednesday is Story Time at the library, a trip to Target, and grab lunch on the way home. I like to have a routine. My kids like to have a routine. I think it helps us all feel somewhat sane. It’s the reason we have a bedtime routine, a mealtime routine, and even a getting into the car routine--for a little sanity.

Sometimes, however, we go a little insane. Sometimes mommy loses patience or a three year old freaks out or maybe a 16 month old decides to have a moment. What happens when all of those happen at the same time? Well, you could use your imagination-- or you could be like the women at Story Time today and just give me that sympathetic smile as they watch the madness unfold.

“Mommy I want to get a sticker on the way out.” (part of the routine)

“Ok, Eliza that’s great.”

Eliza goes to the sticker box and grabs a hand full of stickers.

“Eliza, you may only have one--you know we have to leave some for the other kids.” (stern look)

“I’m going to take them all and not leave any, I want them all!”

Here’s where your imagination comes in. This conversation ended quickly with Eliza putting all the stickers back and a swift spanking.

Oh the fun doesn’t end there!

She proceeds to throw herself on the floor and scream and cry. (Mind you “little Eliza” is 39 ½ inches tall and weighs about 37 pounds) So like a good mother I smile at the onlookers, apologize to the Librarians, and grab Eliza’s arm. Just once it would be nice if she cooperated and walked. Instead she goes into the limp position--and the screaming continues. So here I am holding a 16 month old (who really wants to get down and walk), attempting to drag a HUGE 3 year old while being 6 months pregnant--oh yeah, while wearing a skirt. (I thought I looked so cute this morning) The walk to the car couldn’t have gone slower. But we made it. Barely.

Sometimes it takes a little insanity to appreciate the sane moments.

Needless to say-- the rest of our “routine” went very smoothly. Naptime is underway and the sun is shining, overall not a bad day.

Motherhood

With Mother’s Day being yesterday I was thinking a lot about what motherhood means to me. I could state that being a mother is all about changing diapers, cleaning house, cooking, making beds, kissing skinned knees, late night feedings, teaching, praying, etc, etc. However, when I think about being a mom it is so much more than what I “DO” for my children.

When we were growing up my mom used to say “Do you have the stretch marks? No. I’m the mom, not you.” I always thought that was a funny way to remind all of us that she was the boss. Now that I have stretch marks (which seem to be growing by the day) I understand the symbolism behind that statement so much more.

Being a mom is all about sacrifices. However, if you talk to any mother I don’t think they’d look at those sacrifices as a bad thing, instead I think they’d look at all those sacrifices as blessings. The physical sacrifice it takes for a mother to carry a child for 9 months and then bring that child into this world is one that a mother would make over and over again--because when it’s all said and done they get to look down in their arms and see the little miracle that they helped make. It’s worth it. The emotional sacrifice that a mother goes through each and every day watching a child grow up is rather taxing. Whether it’s a new mother watching her child fall over and over while they learn to walk, or a seasoned mother watching their teenager fall in love and be broken hearted for the first time--the pain is multiplied for the mother. It’s worth it. The mental sacrifice that it takes to be a mother is constantly taking it’s toll as well. Shoot, as I sit here typing this I am going through the huge list in my head of things I need to do or things I’ve already forgotten to do today. It’s worth it.

I would gladly sacrifice my life for my child. I wouldn’t even have to think twice about it. The fact of the matter is that I am sacrificing my life for my child. Every single thing I do in this world is for the benefit of my children. Every morning I wake up and ask God to watch over me so that I don’t screw them up too bad today and every night I thank God for the strength and wisdom that got me through the day. Praying that I helped make them better people. The sacrifice is worth it. I really look at it more like a blessing. I love my children with all my heart and I am so thankful that I get to raise them and teach them each and every day.

Motherhood is not an easy thing. Motherhood is a vocation that must be taken in stride. Mothers must be the first example of love in a child’s life. Mothers must mold their children in goodness. Mothers must be ever-strong. Mothers must rely on God for help. Perhaps most importantly mothers must never ever give up--even when it seems like there is no hope, a mother must hope against hope and lead by their loving example always.

　

The Day My Life Changed Forever

May 12, 2009 was a day that changed my life forever. My sweet Eliza Catherine was born. She took over 38 hours and a c-section to come into this world, but she hasn't stopped since she arrived. She is constantly making me laugh. I have to stay on my toes around her or I might miss something. I can't believe that she has been in my life for 3 years...I have loved every single day. Eliza certainly brings a little spunk and a lot of sunshine to this world. I have no doubt that she will change the world.

 "I love you forever, I like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be." 

 It seems like just yesterday that my little Eliza was a baby.

 Here is a picture of Eliza when she is just a year old. She was just barely walking around.

 I can't believe how much she grew in only a year. Here she is on her 2nd birthday enjoying some yummy chocolate cake.

Spunkier than ever! This is a picture from just the other day. she's singing and dancing/bouncing on her trampoline. You can't see from this angle, but her little brother is cracking up. She can always bring a smile to his face.

Intolerance or Love??

If you have been following the news at all lately you know that “tolerance” has been in the headlines the last few days. Mostly because President Obama just decided to come out in support of gay marriage. The supporters and liberal media preach tolerance to us “Christian folk”. I am intolerant if I do not support gay marriage. I am imposing my views on everyone around me by not being “ok” with gay marriage. I am being hateful if I tell two individuals that love each other that they cannot be with each other.

First off, let’s stop all the BS. If you want to have an open and honest discussion about why gay marriage is wrong, immoral, and an attack on the family--then let’s discuss. However, if you are going to call me hateful and intolerant because I am standing up, not only for family, but also for what is right, then the discussion is over before it’s begun.

Before I dive into the reasons I named for being against gay marriage, let me begin by stating that I believe there is absolutely NO SUCH THING as “gay marriage”. Marriage is a covenant between a man, woman, and God. Marriage is a religious institution. From the beginning of time man and woman have declared vows to become one. Marriage will never be between a man and a man or a woman and a woman.

Why is gay partnership wrong? Simple. It goes against our very nature as human beings. We were designed with a specific purpose in mind-- to procreate. A female and male body were designed to fit (literally) with each other. It is impossible for homosexuals to procreate. It is un-natural for homosexuals to have “relations” with each other. And yes, I will go so far to say that homosexuals were not born that way, instead they have some type of mental illness--much like a pedophile. It is unnatural and not how we were designed.

Why is gay marriage immoral? I can hear it now, “your morals are not my morals”. Yet again, you would be wrong. There is a definite right and wrong as defined by God. Even if you don’t believe in God, that’s where right and wrong come from. Our civil laws are all derived from an absolute--that absolute just so happens to come from our Creator. Any situation which institutionalizes the circumvention of the purpose of the sexual act violates natural law and the objective norm of morality.

Why is gay marriage an attack on the family? Gay marriage in and of itself prevents family. Gay marriage is intrinsically sterile. Not to mention the sinfulness that takes place any time two homosexual individuals partake in their sexual acts. The job of the family is to promote the greater good and to lead away from sin, not allow our children to be surrounded by sin. I would have the exact same argument against two unmarried individuals who engage in sexual acts. Sex outside of marriage is an attack on family.

I think the old saying “hate the sin, love the sinner” is what we must continue to follow in these times. I believe we need to rid the world of all sin. We must choose to do God’s work, not promote the devil’s evil tasks. Homosexuals were punished by God long ago--as we read in the bible. We are called to learn from those stories, we are called to guide our brothers and sisters to truth.

So why do I stand up against “gay marriage”. Simple. God calls me to. God demands that we better our society. God demands that we raise our children on a solid foundation of family. God demands that we love. God’s warriors have been killed over the ages for standing for what’s right-- over and over again. Even if you don’t believe in God or in His way you are still part of the world He created, and you will still answer to Him at the end of your life. In everything we do we are called to glorify God, and if our actions or our brother’s actions do not do that, then we must change.

Today

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the devil says “Oh crap, she’s up!”

　

I saw this quote posted on my sister’s facebook wall the other day and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head. It’s one of those quotes that really hit me and has stuck with me. I have thought about it multiple times each day since reading it. I wanted to share it on my blog today because I think it is a motto that we all should live by.

The devil puts so many temptations in our path each day and it’s so easy to give in. It’s so easy to be selfish and self-centered in our lives. It’s so easy to ignore those people having a bad day or those people struggling with a mental or physical illness. It’s so easy to give in to societal norms. It’s easy because that’s the way the devil has designed it.

LOVE on the other hand, takes some work. Love is not a passive word but an active word. It takes incredible selflessness to put other’s first. It takes incredible patience to sit down and have a discussion with someone having a bad day. Have you ever cared for a sick person? It’s not an easy task--it can be very physically and emotionally draining. As for societal norms, who hasn’t made an excuse for them?

God calls us to action. It’s not easy to be on God’s side. However, it’s the only side that I want to be on. Mistakes are inevitable and sin is unavoidable-- but love is always there to pick up the pieces. God is always there to welcome us into his arms.

So tomorrow when you wake up make sure you think about the devil. Not for a long time, but for long enough to know that today you will live to destroy his efforts. Today you will love even the most unlovable person. Today you will stand up for the right thing even if it’s not the easy thing. Today you will live so that when you go to bed God says “Way to go my child, I can’t wait to see what you do tomorrow”.

Lead Me: A post dedicated to Husbands and Fathers

Listen to this first: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLr6G8Xy5uc

Did you listen? If not, really go and listen.

That is one of my favorite songs. It’s called Lead Me, and I find it very romantic. The first time I heard it I kept thinking “why does this woman have to tell her husband these things?” and “What kind of man makes a woman feel alone?” But the more times I heard it the more it touched me. This song is not about a wife “nagging” or “demanding” her husband. This song is about what every husband and father should be.

Honestly, what woman reading this doesn’t want her husband to be “that guy in the song”? We have an innate desire to have our husbands and fathers be the sturdy force in our lives. We depend on their strength, and not only their physical strength, but their spiritual strength as well.

That “perfect” life with the smiling wife is a great picture, but we all know it’s not reality. Most days we need a man to help us stand strong in one way or another. We don’t want to be left hungry for love, and we certainly don’t want our children to be left hungry for love from their father. Our husbands should be our everything and they should LEAD our families.

I think it’s important that we know our husbands and fathers are willing to fight for us. Some days they are great at showing us how much we mean to them. Other days they are just men, and they might not be as good at “showing” us as we’d like. I don’t know about you, but there have certainly been times in my life when I can’t seem to fight anymore. My husband has had to fight for me because I just didn’t have anything left.

I think a lot of women have this “I can do it by myself” attitude in their heads. You know that old saying “I am woman hear me roar”-- society attempts to show women that they don’t need help from anyone, a woman is just as strong as a man and is just as good as a man. Well, I’m here to tell you that is just not true. We need men. Not only in society, but as the heads of our families. God designed a family like this on purpose. Men are supposed to be our strength when we’ve fallen. Father’s are supposed to guide their children with strong hands. Women can’t do it all themselves--it doesn’t work properly.

It’s easy to pray to our Father in heaven for strength and guidance. But let’s not forget to encourage the men in our lives to lead us their wives and their children with all their strength. Let’s not forget to remind them that God has called them to be the head of a beautiful family. Maybe most importantly, let’s not forget to let them lead the family.

Also, don’t forget to thank you husband and father. They will never understand what it’s like to be a mother, and we will never understand what it’s like to be a father and the head of the household--so give them a little credit.

　

　

　

As an extra note:

Thank you Brian for being an amazing husband and father, I wouldn’t be able to make it through this crazy life without you. Thank you Dad for always leading me with strong hands, I continue to look up to you for guidance and love each and every day.

Now go back and listen to the song again with your eyes closed....trust me.

A Month for Mary

The month of May is dedicated to Mary, the mother of Jesus. I don't know about you, but I rely on Mary's intercession on a daily basis. I think it's important we honor such a holy woman.

What can you do this month to honor Mary?

Don't forget to ask for Mary's intercession, she's not only a saint, she's also a mother--I think she gets it.