Let's Talk About Sex...

My blogging has been a bit behind. We had a bit of a wild week around here, which is saying something because there wasn’t much planned--it just turned into one of those weeks. From the look of my calendar from now until the baby comes we have a TON going on. Which is a good thing and a bad thing. I’ll do my best to keep updating, but I’m not promising anything.

So anyway, I missed out on a great opportunity to inform all you wonderful people of something near and dear to my heart last week. It was NFP (natural family planning) awareness week. Aside from our moral opposition to birth control Brian and I practice NFP for multiple reasons. Unfortunately, sex is not something that is really discussed in our society. Everything seems to be sexualized, but the wonderful thing that is monogamous sex between a husband and wife isn’t really even whispered about. It’s like people are afraid to talk about it or something.

Don’t worry, this like pretty much any topic, is not “scary” to me. In fact, I love talking about sex. I love having discussions with people about how wonderful sex can be. It shouldn’t be a taboo topic, instead it should be a topic that we discuss and educate ourselves on regularly. I’m not talking about going into detail about a husband and a wife in the bedroom--that should remain between you and your spouse. The joy that it brings to your life and the freedom that it can bring to your life should be discussed.

So let’s start with something pretty simple. What exactly is NFP and why do we practice it in our marriage? NFP is basically a way to follow your fertility. Often times women will chart signs and symptoms of their fertility so they are aware of the days they are fertile during their cycle. There are a lot of different methods that one can use but most will monitor things like fertile mucus and temperature. Once you become good at monitoring the signs your body gives you other signs become more noticeable too. It takes a couple cycles to figure it all out, but once you have it down it’s a very easy method to follow. Not only can it show you fertile days but it’s a great way of monitoring cycles that are troublesome. It’s a tool that a doctor can look at and determine why a cycle might be problematic. It’s a great way for a woman to be in control of her body--you always know what to expect and you immediately know if something is wrong. Plus, who doesn’t want to know how their body works? Why leave it up to a doctor who you see maybe once a year? Brian and I practice NFP partially because we are morally opposed to using artificial birth control of any sort, but an even bigger reason we use NFP is because it has made us even closer as husband and wife. Our sex life is something we discuss quite often. Not only do I know what’s going on with my body but Brian does too. It’s also something that has allowed us to better understand each other from the mental side of things. We all know that men have wild hormones and think about sex all the time--but did you know that women have those too? When a woman is in the fertile time of her cycle her hormones change to make her want sex even more too. What better way to understand each other than actually getting to feel what’s it’s like to refrain from sex during a time like this? I know for sure that I understand where Brian is coming from much better because I’ve physically and mentally been there too.

I could go on and on about NFP but it is a personal thing that every couple should experience together. I could tell you more about my personal experience but it’s always better to learn something yourself. Something that I encourage you to look into and educate yourself about. Don’t just blow if off because it might take some “work” from you. Below is a great article that gives many more reasons why NFP is such a powerful tool for women.

http://www.myfemininemind.com/2012/07/things-your-doctor-may-not-have-told_25.html



I welcome questions or comments about NFP. I’ll do my best to answer them, and if I can’t then I’ll find the answer or point you to someone who does know.

Glorify God, Especially During The Crazy Times

What a week it’s been so far! I was down with strep throat over the weekend. (yuck!) Then I attempted to clean up the house after a weekend of being down. As you can imagine, it was a bit wild. It seems to be taking me longer and longer to get “normal” things done around here too, so after a full day of work my house was still not back to normal, but it looked half way decent. I was so wiped out that I fell asleep early Monday night. I think if I could I’d crawl into bed about 7:00 each night and slowly drift to sleep.

Tuesday started off as a wonderful day. We attempted to go to a new play place, but it was super crowded so we opted to spend the day over at a friend’s house playing. It turned out working really well. The kids wore each other out and had a blast together. Tuesday night I took Eliza to dance and rushed off to Target. (I’ve been taking some mommy time each week while she’s at class--it’s been so nice!)

Do you ever have one of those feelings? I can’t really explain it, just a feeling that you know something isn’t right. I tend to get them when something has happened to one of my family members. It’s kinda weird and it’s like something or someone is trying to prepare me for the certain doom that lies ahead. Well, on my way back to pick Eliza up from dance I had one of those feelings. About 2 minutes later my phone rang--it was the dance studio. Eliza was “freaking” out because she split her chin open. Luckily, I was pulling into the parking lot as I hung the phone up. I rushed inside and poor Eliza was crying and had blood all over! Luckily, some sweet moms had taken charge and gotten her an ice pack and some paper towel to stop some of the bleeding. One mom even scooped Eliza up and carried her to the van for me. Off to the ER we went. We’ve been through this before, almost exactly a year ago Eliza split her chin the first time and had to get stitches. She knows the process and I tried my best to keep her distracted, but she knew what was coming. A couple hours later we walked out of the ER with a smiling little girl who had 4 stitches in her chin. It’s not fun seeing your child in pain, and it is really not fun having to help hold her down while she’s scared to death. Luckily, she was pretty tough and when it was all over she was just excited about the stickers and bubbles they gave her. What a day!

Today I’m attempting to recover from that craziness last night. I’m one worn out mom and Eliza was so worn out that she slept in until almost 10 this morning. I’m hoping that it will be a very uneventful day at home today.

My mom texted me as we drove Eliza to the hospital last night and said “look at it this way, at least you aren’t in labor!” I am very thankful for that. A split chin is nothing compared to a pre-mature baby. Actually, as I look back on last night I’m very thankful for a lot of things. I’m thankful for a tough little girl, I’m thankful for great friends who drop everything to watch Jackson for us in an emergency, I’m thankful for a husband that does a wonderful job of distracting, I’m thankful for good doctors and nurses (the nurses actually fought over who would have to hold Eliza down--no one wanted to do it b/c she was so sweet to them), I’m thankful for my husband’s job and being able to afford medical care, I’m thankful for “mom sense” and knowing that my little girl needed stitches, and I’m thankful that bribes still work to calm a 3 year old down. Sometimes in the hustle and bustle of a crazy situation it’s hard to be “thankful” for everything going on, but reflecting on the situation and thanking God over and over helps put it all in perspective. God has blessed us abundantly and it’s nights like last night that remind me to do my best each and every day to glorify Him in all that I do.

The Small Things

Listen to this first:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8gkDiTvloc&feature=related



I’m sure all of you have heard of the tragic shooting in Colorado by now. Last night a gunman opened fire in a movie theatre killing 12 people. There aren’t really words to express my emotions. That song really does help put some of the craziness of this world into perspective. There will come a day when we’re all with Jesus in heaven, it’s during the crazy times that we should remember that.

I think it’s really easy to see the hate and the evil in the world today. All you have to do is turn on the news and you hear a story of heartache. I’m no scholar or theologian, but I do know that our suffering should only bring us closer to God, it should help us appreciate to good times even more. Of course, that’s a lot easier said than done--especially while in the midst of suffering.

Sometimes when the outside world is going crazy I like to close myself down and surround myself with my little world. I try to find the joy in what I get to do every single day. Today my kids made it easy. We were out running errands and stopped to pick up lunch. I decided to be really crazy and let them eat some ice-cream before we got home to eat lunch. I got a small dish of vanilla and handed it to Eliza. She is big enough to feed herself in the car, but Jackson isn’t quite there yet. Eliza insisted on sharing with him though. Their seats are far enough apart that Eliza can’t spoon feed him, so instead she scooped some onto a spoon and then handed it to him to eat. He proceeded to eat the ice-cream and hand the spoon back to her. After taking a bite for herself she again scooped one for him, and this continued until the ice-cream was gone. This might seem like such a simple thing to the outsider, but let me assure you this was a little piece of God’s love on earth. Eliza is only 3--three year olds aren’t the best at sharing. Let’s be honest, most people aren’t very good at sharing. The love that my kids shared with one another by this simple act of ice-cream eating was truly a sign of God’s love right in front of my eyes.

God’s love truly does surround us each and every day. Sometimes it’s harder to see than other times--but it’s always there. Don’t forget to thank God for the small things.

Faith Check-Up

We’ve had a lot of check-ups around here lately. I have almost weekly check-ups for the pregnancy, Jackson just had a 6 month ENT follow up from his tubes surgery, he also has his 18 month check-up coming up, the van is due for an oil change and check-up (we say we’re taking the van to the car doctor when we go), our air conditioner had a check-up of it’s own too. It seems like everyone and everything around here has a check-up in the last couple months. I know we’re only going to have more check-ups once the baby is born.

All these check-ups really have me thinking. We have all sorts of “physical” check-ups throughout the year, but how often do we have a faith check-up. In the Catholic church I think an examination of your faith is usually done twice a year, once around Christmas and once around Easter. I think those times make good sense. I personally use these times to go to confession and just examine my state of mind when it comes to being a good Catholic. I think we could all re-examine our state of mind each week at mass--it’s great to start off the week fresh. However, that’s a lot easier said then done. Most Sunday’s I just try to make it through the marathon that is mass with my children.

So all this thinking about a faith check-up made me think to remind all of you to have a check-up of your own. Part of life is having ups and downs that we go through, sometimes by ourselves and other times with our family. The same is true of our faith lives. Sometimes our own personal faith journey is on a great path, but our spouse or our family may be struggling. Sometimes those around us seem to be flourishing in their faith life and we feel like we are really struggling. It really doesn’t matter where you are right now in your faith. None of us is even close to being perfect--that’s why we have God.

Take some time over the next week to examine your faith life. Maybe you need to go to confession because it’s been a while or maybe you simply need to do a better job of saying daily prayers. Whatever you need to make your faith stronger try and incorporate it into your daily routine the next week. Like everything else, once it becomes routine it will stick. Don’t forget that being physically and mentally well is very important, however being spiritually well is just as important and takes just as much work. Below is a short list of some ideas to help you “boost” your faith life.

- Read a spiritual book

-Go to confession

- Start a prayer journal (Write down all the intentions you have and bring the book out during morning and evening prayers)

- Start a gratitude journal (At the end of each day, write down what you’re thankful for)

- Re-connect with a spouse or family member through prayer

- Read the bible

- Read about a Saint that inspires you

- Go to daily mass

- Do a random act of kindness

There are so many ways to improve your faith health. The first step is always in the “doing”. Good Luck! I’ll be praying that everyone does a check-up and improves in some way.

No Pain, No Gain: A Quick Workout for All You Pregnant Momma's

Last week I wrote about all the fun aches and pains that accompany a pregnant woman during the 3^rd trimester. For some it seems like there is little relief no matter what you do. I think at times the baby just gets in a certain position and there’s not much you can do to get them out of it. However, one thing that seems to consistently help me is a good workout. I’m too far along to run anymore--between the huge belly and the contractions it gives me it’s really not worth it. But a good walk or a nice body-weight “lifting” routine always seems to help me. I don’t do long workouts--I try to keep them between 30 and 40 minutes and even after I’ve done a great workout and feel great sometimes later that day or evening I’ll start feeling a bit yucky again. Those are the days I throw in some yoga, 10 or 15 minutes, and it usually helps too.

Below is one workout that I really love. It’s simple, and anyone can do it at home. It usually takes me about 35 minutes to complete. All the exercises are able to be modified too. This is the workout I will start with after delivery too--once I am cleared to start working out again. So even if you’re not pregnant, it’s a great workout!

Warm-Up: 5 minutes

I usually put on some great music and march in place, shuffle, do some kicks, arm rolls, arm swings, etc. to get my body all warmed up. I’m in a nice light sweat by the end of the warm-up.

Push-Ups: 15-20

Right now I do push ups at an angle. I push off of a coffee table so I’m not flat off the ground. You can also do wall push-ups, knee push-ups, regular push-ups, or another variation that works for you. The great thing about pregnancy is even if you continue to do the same type of push up it gets harder as you gain weight. By the end it’s like you are doing 35 extra pounds of push ups.

Lunges: 30

There’s not really a cheat for these. I guess you could go down a little less than normal, but I think these are pretty doable the entire pregnancy. Just make sure you are using proper form, keep your knee from going over your ankle and you’ll be fine.

Pull-Ups: 25

There are tons of variations for these as well. In the beginning of pregnancy I was still doing normal old pull ups. You can also do chair assisted with one or two legs. I am at the resistant band level now though. I tie a resistant band to my bar--fairly tightly, sit on the ground feet flat on the floor, and pull almost like a rowing machine (but obviously the angle is a bit different) the key here is to keep your arms spread while pulling and while straightening back up.

Squats: 25

Tons of variations here too. You can use weights in the beginning and phase off to no weights by the 3^rd trimester if you need to. If you are pregnant I think it’s very important to have a chair or a couch behind you, in case you lose your balance. (I’ve done it!) Right now I do 25 slow squats, I go as low as I can on the bend and I do it in front of my couch in case I fall backwards. These start to burn by the end--if they don’t you aren’t going slow enough.

Dumbbell Dead lift and upright row:20

These are a bit complicated to explain. I use very light weights with this lift. You can vary it based on how far along you are--but I wouldn’t do more than 10 lbs in each arm unless you aren’t pregnant. For this lift stand with your legs shoulder width apart with the weights at either side, keep your legs straight bend at the waist and touch your toes, then stand back up. This is a lift for your hamstrings, so that’s where you should feel it. As you stand back up bring the weights up to your chin so that your elbows are pointing out, drop the weights back to your sides and begin again.

Triceps Extension: 20 on each side

I use light weights for this exercise too. Again you can vary it based on where you are in pregnancy. There are multiple ways to do this lift as well. The way I do it is to stand with one foot about a stride in front of the other, bend over at the waist about 90 degrees with a weight in both hands. The arm that I am working gets pulled straight behind me (almost like starting a lawn mower) and back down again, the other arm hangs dead with the weight in it then switch feet and arms.

I repeat this routine twice.

Cool Down: 5 minutes

Just an easy march in place and stretch to cool your body down. Make sure you drink a bunch of water too.

**If you have any questions e-mail or message me and I can help you out personally.

A Dose of Reality

Reality. It’s a funny thing if you think about it. You’d think that just based on the definition of the word reality would be one set thing--it’s either real or it’s fake. However, reality is just a bit different for everyone--or at least one could argue that it’s a bit different. For instance, the shirt that my husband wore to work today looked teal to me, but I wonder if it’s the same teal to me as it is to one of his co-workers. Puzzling. I didn’t begin this post to discuss how colors look different to everyone, what’s really on my mind is the reality of pregnancy and motherhood. (I can’t help it--pregnancy is on my brain, it’s kinda impossible for it not to be)

I think back to 5 years ago, right after Brian and I were married and the possibility of children was very real, and I laugh out loud. That was such a naïve person. She would wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and think about this perfect future. You know what I’m talking about. The perfect pregnancy, no aches and pains, the perfect amount of weight gain, absolutely no stretch marks, happy as can be, adorable in all those pregnancy clothes. You’re laughing out loud with me now right? Well the reality in my head was quickly shattered--my first pregnancy was FAR from ideal. Not only was it a bit of a surprise, but I was puking every day, and it ended in a miscarriage at 14 weeks. Pop! That bubble that I had made in my head was long gone.

However, even after the miscarriage I still had this idea in my head of the perfect pregnancy. Don’t worry, that was shattered quickly too. When I was pregnant with Eliza I was plagued with it all. I had acne, puking, aches and pains, tiredness, plus I got huge. I thought I was looking so cute, then I saw pictures of myself at my baby shower--woah! It’s funny how when you’re pregnant everyone always says “oh, you look great!” I guess it’s a triggered response, I mean what would happen if you were brutally honest? I could see someone getting their head bitten off. I think the bubble was shattered for good around week 32 when I spotted my first stretch mark. My poor husband. I think I screamed at the top of my lungs--and as he came rushing in the room (probably thinking I was in labor or something) I was pointing in horror at this tiny mark. They multiplied like the plague from that day on. ( I should have appreciated that bikini body when I had it)

Then comes the wonderful child raising. I’m sure they tried to warn me. I remember many times my mother saying “Oh I just can’t wait until you have children.” I think I understand that so much better now--and I haven’t even raised a teenager yet. For some reason when you’re holding that beautiful baby in your arms you think life couldn’t get any better. (If only they stayed that sweet and peaceful!) Instead the reality of it is that they throw tantrums, they have mini and mega freak outs, they are more stubborn then you can imagine, they have their own little personality, and they rely completely on you. It’s the most wonderfully frightening thing in the world!

I’ve become a much less judgmental person since I became a mother. I knew it all before I had kids--all you had to do is ask. (sometimes you didn’t even need to ask, because I’d let you know anyway) I’d like to argue that it wasn’t all my fault though, my sense of reality was skewed--as is a lot of peoples.

The other day we went to an indoor play place. I could barely walk because my back and groin hurt so bad from this child I’m growing. I was in a full sweat before we even got in the door. Eliza basically ran into the door while I was opening it. Jackson took off right as his feet hit the floor. He had purple socks on--because I just grabbed two pair as we walked out the door at home. Eliza just HAD to put her socks on herself--5 minutes later she finally let me assist her. When it was time to go I had chased Jackson down, tucked him under one arm like a bushel of potatoes and very gracefully wrestled with Eliza to get her shoes on--threatening her under my breath the whole time. I quickly brushed my hair out of my eyes, wiped the sweat that was pouring down my brow and proceeded to get the kids in the car.

Go ahead, laugh. It was probably a hilarious sight--I laugh thinking about it. That’s my reality. It’s not this picture perfect life that I had imagined up in my head 5 years ago, it’s just reality. At the end of the day, when I try to get comfortable enough to go to sleep at night, I thank God for every second of it. Even at the end of my real days I realize that all the craziness is one big blessing. My life would be pretty boring if it was how I imagined it would be 5 years ago. Instead I thrive in the madness--it’s the only way I’m going to survive. Children, or what I like to call little doses of reality keep life exciting.

What's All This Pain For Anyway?

A few weeks back I wrote a post all about mom’s being superheroes. I’m not taking back what I said by any means, however these past few days have me wondering if I’ll ever get those super powers back.

There are two times during pregnancy that I am usually in tears and on my knees begging God for a little break. (Check that--I can’t even get on my knees to beg right now.) During the first trimester when I feel like I’ve been throwing up for weeks and weeks and I don’t know if I can take one more episode and during the third trimester when my body is so sore just from walking around are times I usually feel pretty sorry for myself. (Usually I think I deserve every bit of the pain, b/c when I was in utero I gave my mom a hell of a time) I have officially hit that 3^rd trimester part. All you mom’s out there probably have some clue what I’m talking about. The lovely 4 to 5 times up at night having to pee and it taking minutes to even walk to the bathroom. The rolling over in bed--it’s probably pretty comical to watch. I usually add in my own little grunts along the way, I don’t know why though because they usually don’t help me roll any faster or any easier. Waking up in the morning--ugh. Your body is sore just from laying, I swear it takes 5 minutes just for all the blood to flow where it needs to and then you have to “pop” right up to get to the screaming kids. Then you have your wonderful mom job during the day. For me chasing an 18 month old and a 3 year old leaves me in a sweat multiple times a day. Sometimes I just have to stop and laugh, because it’s like one of those giant turtles chasing a playful puppy--never gonna catch up and probably fall over that big shell of theirs along the way.

But really who doesn’t love pregnancy?

In all seriousness I wouldn’t trade the pain for anything. It’s a good reminder of how blessed I am. Plus, it’s not so bad that I won’t do it all over again. Not to mention I can vent to all you wonderful people, which helps me get through the day too. In the end, I’ll be holding my little baby boy and the pain will all be forgotten. When I’m really having a bad day I just think about all those women who are worse off than me, because there are a lot of them--either in more physical pain, or in more emotional pain from not being able to become pregnant. My pain is just another form of a blessing that God has given me to remind me that my pain is really for something much more important than me.

In A Nutshell

Vacation was a wonderful week spent relaxing and catching up with family. Drama, irritations, blow-ups, hurt feelings, and fighting were some of the negatives that accompanied us during the week. I think it’s impossible to avoid such things when you lock 18 people up in a house all week together. Even if you include a beautiful beach and all sorts of activities to keep people busy. It’s inevitable that the people you love the most in life are also the people that will drive you the craziest. (I’d say drive you to drink, but that’s not possible in my current state)

Although the week had it’s negatives, I don’t really remember them much. I think that’s saying a lot coming from a hormonal pregnant woman. What I remember are the fun times. I haven’t laughed so hard or so much in a long time. I haven’t felt so genuinely comfortable just being myself in a very long time. Although I’m probably the easiest to get irritated over the littlest things, that didn’t come close to stopping me from enjoying everyone’s company.

At the end of the week, I felt so proud to be a part of something so wonderful. We might be a large and crazy and sometimes irrational group of people but we are a great big, loving, family above all. When it’s all said and done we all love each other--and that’s all that really matters.

Honestly, I’m too darn tired and still recovering from the travel that I can’t analyze it any further than that. Being a part of such a large family is a unique and special thing that I’d never change--and family vacation is kinda like pregnancy: it has it’s crappy parts but they aren’t crappy enough to keep you from doing it all over again.

Thanks to all of my family for being so screwed up, it makes life that much more fun! Thanks mom and dad for planning these huge vacations. Thanks to all my siblings for taking time out of your life to make the trip. Thanks to my husband for working so hard to make it possible that we can join in the craziness. Living across the country from everyone really makes me appreciate the trip even more. Most of all thank you God for helping us all survive!!

Quick Update

Between family vacation and general craziness posts have been slow lately. I’m hoping to get a jump on it this week and start posting more regularly. For now we’ll just stick with a quick update.

We returned from Gulf Shores this weekend with no air conditioning. We finally got it fixed this morning. It feels much better in the house now. Oklahoma summer and no air conditioner really don’t mix, not to mention 7 months pregnant and heat don’t mix at all! After getting the air conditioner fixed we are slowly getting back to routine around here.

I think it will take me at least a week to recover from the travel of vacation. It’s kinda crazy how much it takes out of you, especially caring around and growing another human being. Speaking of growing a human being, I have another doctor’s appointment tomorrow. Just a check-up, but they are growing closer and closer together as the end of all this draws near. We officially have 57 days until our new little guy joins this crazy world. It’s a little overwhelming to think about it. Not to mention that the “to do” list before he arrives seems to grow each day. I’m hoping some of the things will start to get crossed off. Lately, it seems that items are just being added.

Eliza and Jackson are doing wonderfully. I think Jackson grew in the week we were gone at the beach. The ocean must make him sprout up. Eliza could live at the beach too. She is as fearless as they come, and enjoyed every second of vacation from the boat to the ocean to the pool to picking on her cousin Quinn. It’s a vacation memory she won’t forget. She’s already asking when we can go back.

As for Brian and I life is flying along. We celebrated a big promotion at work for Brian and our 5^th anniversary right before leaving for vacation, both made vacation even better. It’s pretty wild that we’ve been married for 5 years already. Our marriage has truly been blessed abundantly by God.

That’s it for now…too much to do.

I’m hoping to write more about our vacation tomorrow. Tune back soon to read all about the fun times.